Spiders and chickens and monkeys oh my!!!

 

Having such a strong dislike for Kuta Bali and its overzealousness I decided to leave early.  So after contacting my couch surfing host, Lena, to see if it was ok for me to come a day earlier than planned (and receiving a wonderfully welcoming yes!), I hopped on the back of a scooter with my oversized backpack and head straight for what would turn out to be my paradise, Ubud.

Finding Lena’s jungle hideaway was a bit of a feat, but once I did, all of the twists and turns were worth it.  She lives in a small house surrounded by jungle, and her one neighbour.  Her house is full of natural light, colourful paintings, and a very relaxed energy.  Her neighbour has a dog who is as friendly as a new born kitten, but who’s bark would deter a stranger from entering their property, which is of great comfort in the jungle. 

 

Lena also has many pets.  Not the kind of pets I’m used to having mind you, and they’re not quite invited to be part of her family either…I guess living in the jungle means you build a tolerance to unwelcome, six legged, eight legged, four legged, and even two legged guests.  I’m sure you can guess at this point what some of these “pets” may be, but here is the short list.  There is a resident giant toad…and when I say giant I mean fucking giant…like it could gnaw on my head like a lollipop while I’m sleeping (thank god they don’t have teeth).  There are millions of mosquitoes, also known as little malaria carrying bastards…and I mean that in the most loving way possible.  There are teeny green geckos everywhere, and yes they are cute, until they start shitting on your head cause they’re chilling out on the ceiling, then they are no longer cute, they are the enemy and they must die. 

There are spiders in every colour, shape, and size.  Some even have legs missing, which just shows how indestructible these little fuckers are.  To add to their indestructibility, they are not scared of humans, in fact I think they have fun with us.  They take great pleasure in seeing us scream, throw some inane object at them, missing in a huge way (due to panic of course), and consequently jumping up and down on the spot (again in panic), and finally running out of the room in horror.  Think about it.  If you were an inch tall and some giant 60 times your size does a ridiculous dance after throwing a giant object at you and missing by a long shot and then runs away screaming like a little girl, you would shit your pants laughing. 

 

The most unwelcome guest is a two legged spawn of Satan sent to destroy my ear drums and more importantly my sleep.  These creatures look like the devil, sound like the devil, and I’m sure even breathe fire I just haven’t caught them in the act yet.  What are these heinous creations you ask?  Chickens.  Ugly, filthy, ear destroying, life draining, devils in disguise.  Chickens are one million times more delicious to me now, I now savour every bite and delight in the fact that there is one less chicken in the jungle to wake me up at 5am.  (To add to this picture I’m also sleeping on the floor with all of these creatures, becoming one with the jungle, turning into a true blue Jane minus Tarzan). 

(AND to add insult to injury, the little fuckers are too fast to get a good picture of their evil ways).

Furthering my Jane status, there is a forest in Ubud called Monkey Forest, and true to its name it is full of little monkeys running about.  I took a long stroll through the forest and strangely felt at home with these creatures.  I really had to refrain myself from climbing the trees along side them, and for two very different reasons.  Reason 1, I would get thrown out of the forest for indecent behaviour,  Reason 2, I feared the monkeys would begin to think I am one of them and try to cop a feel.  I say this because never before have I seen so much sexual activity in one day.  They are certainly not shy about their sexual needs, females rubbing each other casually, males approaching the women and seemingly not saying more then a “hello” going in for the kill.  It was both hilarious and disgusting.

 

     

My time in Ubud is proving to be a very natural one.  Animals everywhere, surrounded by jungles, forests, and rice fields, and bites, bumps, and bruises to show for it.

Day trip on a motorbike…never again…well maybe.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my day thoroughly, I saw so much in one day it was just amazing…but I almost shit myself on a number of occasions while doing it.  So I think it’s best if I don’t do it again, after all, that many close calls at the age of 26 is simply not normal.

Zack, a local guy I met who does tours as one of his many jobs, and I set off on his motorbike in the morning from Kuta (Bali) for Kintamani, a small hill top village with gorgeous views of Gunung Batur, a volcano rising 1717m above sea level and towering the beautiful Lake Batur.  The drive offered stunning views of the coastline for the first portion, an awful road that has been under construction for far too long for the next part, and tiny villages surrounded by vast bright green rice fields for the majority of the drive once we were far from Kuta.

We reached Kintamani around lunch time, and had a wonderful buffet lunch with a beautiful view of the volcano and lake.

Continuing on after lunch, we passed shrines and temples decorated with handmade crafts for a Hindu celebration.

We passed villages, children playing, dogs play fighting, people walking home from the market, and the most vibrant, lush, and rich vegetation I think I have ever seen.  

Finally reaching Git Git Waterfall, after Zack taking one too many wrong turns, we walked through bright green rice fields set amongst a mountainous backdrop. 

  There were of course stalls set up along the trail to the waterfall.  Women selling traditional Batik fabric, wood carvings, paintings, beaded crafts, and untraditional sarongs.

As with everywhere, there was a shrine covered in offerings at the waterfall adding punches of colour to the striking blues and greens.  

You may be wondering “what is this girl complaining about?!  what the hell is so scary about that trip?!”  Well, finishing at the waterfall later than planned we head straight for Kuta, first making a loop from numerous wrong turns, we finally set off on the right track.  Travelling through dense clouds, and thick fog and the windy mountain roads, it quickly turned dark…and wet.  The clouds grew thicker, the roads seemingly more twisty due to the rising fear and poor visibility, and consequently my screams grew louder, my grip tighter, and my desire to believe in a higher power grew stronger than ever screeching “oh my god” at every turn in the road.  As we drove into Kuta a shit storm began.  It was raining so hard that I thought maybe it would be ok if I did shit my pants because the rain would clean me right up.  But alas I didn’t shit my pants, and more importantly I didn’t lose my life.  I did however learn that a small white girl from Burlington, Ontario should not get on the back of a motorbike for a full day of driving through treacherous windy roads on the sides of mountains.  Lesson learned.  On to the next lesson! 

Kuta, Bali: greed.

 

My word for Kuta: greed…of the consumer, the supplier; the visitor and the native.

Kuta draws in its visitors firstly because of its fabulous surfing and secondly because of its laid back party vibe.  Arriving at Bali’s International airport in Denpasar was almost like arriving in Australia.  Tall, dark, blonde, ripped surfer boys from Oz piled out of airplanes, collecting their surfboards and heading straight for Kuta…a place perfect for the “surf all afternoon, drink all night, sleep all morning and do it all over again” type. 

Not being tall, dark, blonde, or a ripped surfer boy (or a boy at all for that matter), I didn’t think Kuta would be my cup of tea, but I do love beaches and beach vibes so I wanted to give it a shot at winning me over. 

The plane arrived from Singapore into Denpasar around 10pm, and after going through customs, getting my Visa On Arrival, collecting my backpack, and making my way out to the taxi bay amongst the sea of tall, dark, blonde, ripped surfers, it was around midnight.  After two solid days of travelling all I wanted was a bed, a shower, and i wanted it 17 hours ago.  I spoke to a few locals, and a few avid Bali vacationers, and got in line for a taxi to take me to Poppies Lane 1 in Kuta.  Poppies Lane (there is 1 and 2), I was told, is the budget area for the beach seekers, so off I went, sharing a taxi with an Australian girl there to meet her friends for a vacay.

I combed the majority of Poppies Lane 1 looking for accommodation in my price range and safe looking, finally going with Pesona Inn after it being recommended to me by a local guy, Zack, and two Americans, Todd and Brian.  The room was clean, had air conditioning, and hot water; it included breakfast and had a beautiful pool as well.  A little bit over what my budget will be for the rest of my trip, but ok with me after 2 days of travelling. 

My first full day in Bali was spent having a surf lesson from Zack, and chilling on the beach with him and his friends, one being a very lovely girl from Sweden who was on a two month vacation in Kuta learning to surf and checking out Universities for graduate school. 

After surfing I laid around my pool reading and sleeping, followed by a nap in my air conditioned room.  I walked to the beach on my own to get some pictures of the sunset, which was quite stunning.  I met with Zack and Todd for dinner, and upon Zack suggestion I had Gado-Gado, a delicious Indonesian dish consisting of a mountain of steamed vegetables topped with a fabulous peanut sauce.  Exhausted and with a BIG day ahead I went to bed after dinner, pleasantly full and my taste buds having a party.

The surfing was awesome, the beach was beautiful, the food was delicious…I can see why so many people go to Kuta and stay there, however I was right in my assumption that it just wasn’t my cup of tea.  Had I gone there 4 years ago, maybe.  Now, no.