Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode?  Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest?  Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts?  Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.

Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.

I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long.  I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold.  Would I find a job?  Would my friendships still be intact?  Would I adjust and be happy?  As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place.  Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined?  Oh hell no!  Is that necessarily a bad thing?  Certainly not.  I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life.   Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here.  I have had a few breakdowns.  Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home.  Second guessed my dreams and desires.  Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends.  Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.

Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have.  I feel very fulfilled at the moment.  I am working hard but having fun in every moment.  I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time.  It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits.  I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.

My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas.  I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions.  I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting.  I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation.  I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.

Byeonsanbando Revisited: A Letter to Nanny

Last August I visited 변산반도 (Byeonsanbando National Park) with Ben, Mary, and Myles. It was an epic adventure and one that remains one of the fondest memories I have in Korea (the blog post is incomplete...I'm a procrastinator). Since I have such wonderful memories of it I wanted to revisit it this summer for my birthday. My birthday weekend had a heinous forecast consisting of torrential downpour and huge storm, so against my "fuck it let's do it anyway" attitude, I cancelled it. Clearly it didn't rain for more than 2 hours all weekend and it was quite beautiful. Leaving that frustration behind, despite more warnings of rain and thunderstorms some friends and I decided to take the plunge and head there this past weekend.

Megan, Kevin, Yonghoo, and I head out Saturday afternoon by bus for 부안 (Buan), where we caught another bus straight to 격포비치 (Gyeokpo Beach). On our way home on the bus I wrote my monthly letter to my Grandma (Nanny), that sums up the weekend quite nicely so I thought I'd just share that. So here it is:

Nanny,

We are driving past bright green rice fields set against a backdrop of layers upon layers of mountains. The sky is a bright blue interrupted by fluffy white clouds constantly changing shape and moving ever so slowly across the stunning blue canvas. It is almost as if the clouds are admiring the beautiful scenery below, and the mountains reaching up to touch the sky.

I am on a bus heading from 격포비치(Gyeokpo Beach) to 대전(Daejeon-where I live). I have spent the weekend with some wonderful friends playing on the beach and swimming in the ocean. We cooked and ate as many shell fish as our tummies could handle at a restaurant on the beach.

We licked up ice cream as quickly as possible so as to not lose it to the heat. We lit fireworks and drank beers on the beach, enjoying each others company under the night sky. When it began to rain we sought refuge in a 노래방 (singing room). Singing song after song, as loud as possible, until we could no longer muster a sound, well a nice sound anyway.

The next morning after waking up Kevin, and Yonghoo, my friend Megan and I headed for the beach telling the boys to meet us there when they were ready. We swam, etched our names in the sand, and created models of each other from shells, seaweed, and anything else we could find along the shore.

When the boys finally met up with us, they added their names to ours, and made models of each other. We then headed for lunch, 갈국수 (kalguksu-noodles, vegetables, and seafood). Obviously in need of desert we had 팥빙수 (patbingsu-shaved ice, condensed milk, fruit, fruit syrup, ice cream, rice cakes, and beans). It was my first time eating patbingsu, but it shall not be the last, although it sounds like an unlikely mix for a delicious treat, it is delicious and perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day.

We walked through the water and enjoyed the amazing weather for a bit longer, where I burned my legs really badly. Then got on a bus to head home. And here we are on the bus together. You are here with me, enjoying the view.

Love you always,
Meagan MacAshPash

Yonghoo proudly displaying his cooking skills.

Kevin disgusted by some of the shellfish.

Gorgeous sunset.

Sparklers!!!

Kevin getting a little too excited with fireworks in his hand.

Noraebang!!! (karaoke)

Strike a pose...clearly Madonna.

Kev on one of his intense solos.

I made Megan as yellow as I could.

And she made me as white as she could.

Practicing our yoga poses.

Yonghoo made Kevin's model well endowed...yet to be verified.

Patbingsu!