Reverb11: Day 15 - the unexpected teacher

Teaching Moment - Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places.  Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?

We certainly do find teachers in the most unexpected places.  This may sound ignorant, but I never thought that I would consider a person with little to no education as a teacher.  However, late in 2010 I met a person who very quickly became a teacher to me in so many ways, which continued long into 2011.  

When describing him to people I would often say that he was incredibly wise, peaceful, and happy.  That although he was younger than myself and has little education, that he taught me a great deal about myself, about love, and about life.  

This person is Hermansah.  The man I met and fell instantly in love with while traveling in Indonesia.  I had never experienced this before.  Never felt instantly connected to another person.  Never felt drawn to another person despite my better judgement.  But there I was, falling in love at first sight with a man three years my junior, whose home is quite literally on the other side of the world to my home, who has no formal education past high school, who has a job that pays him the equivalent of $80 a month, and who has never left his small island.

There were so many impossibilities right from the start.  

But there was no way to turn away from this love without giving it a fair shot.

We were together for an amazing month from the start, and me being as honest as usual about my apprehension about our relationship, he quickly put my worries to rest saying, "follow your heart".

I left Indonesia to continue my travels as planned.  While traveling I grew to know very quickly that my heart was still in Indonesia despite my body and my mind being in whatever country I was in at that moment.  With my strict budget, there was no room for doubling back to a country I had already been to and that required a flight, but in keeping with Hermansah's teachings I threw caution to the wind, "followed my heart", and said a big old Eff You to my budget, spontaneously booking a flight back to Indonesia. 


We spent last Christmas and New Years together, and decided we didn't want to be apart again so we decided to travel together, Hermansah leaving his country for the first time.


We traveled through Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand together before parting ways once again where I went to India for 3 months, and Hermansah went back home to Indonesia.


While apart we spoke over the phone as much as humanly possible, sending messages on facebook as often as we could, and sending our love across the ocean.


I had planned to go back to Indonesia after India, but while in India I got some big news...my big sister was pregnant.  It honestly was bittersweet.  On one side I was so happy for her, and excited to finally become an aunt (it was a long time coming), but on the other side it meant that I would need to go home to Canada and hold off on Indonesia.  


Having been away from Canada for 2 years already at that point, I made the difficult decision to head home, arriving back in Canada in May 2011.  Once home Hermansah and I continued skyping and messaging on facebook whenever possible, and we began the long process to get a tourist visa for him to come visit Canada and meet my family.  We finally heard back from the Canadian Embassy in September.  Hermansah was declined his tourist visa.  We were both devastated, disappointed, and defeated.  Initially, I began getting things organized to reapply.  I purchased land in Indonesia so that he would have more "ties" to his country.  He enrolled in school for a 2012 start to add another reason why he would need to go back to Indonesia since the Canadian government doesn't deem family as reason enough.  


Soon I started to grow very stressed and tired with the whole process.  I started to realize that if it was this difficult to get him a tourist visa, imagine the difficulty in getting a resident visa if thats what we wanted to do down the road.  After my niece, Rayah, was born on September 23rd, I fell in love with her at first sight.  For the second time in my life, I felt instantly connected to another being, albeit in a much different way than with Hermansah, but nonetheless it was there.  


I realized even more at this point that it was unlikely I would relocate permanently to Indonesia.  I knew I would definitely be up to living abroad again for a year or two, but not likely permanently.  This lead me to a very heartbreaking decision.  One which I will perhaps never know if it was the "right" decision, but one that needed to be made at that moment.  We still speak occasionally, I still think of him, I still miss his presence in my life, but all i can do at this point is focus on my present moment and not worry about the past or the future for that matter.

In our 11 month relationship, Hermansah never stopped teaching me.  The biggest lesson was that he taught me to love wholeheartedly, without discrimination, without investigation.  He taught we to not dwell on the past, just keep moving forward, following my heart at all times and with every action.  Hermansah taught me to be patient with myself, and others.  He taught me to be patient with life.  I had never met anyone who could calm me when stressed with so little as a smile and a gentle touch.  Hermansah taught me to cherish my family.  His respect and love for his mother bringing him into this world especially amazed me.  His simultaneous strength and sensitivity showed me that I too can be strong despite my very active tear ducts.  I can't even put into words how much this one man taught me.  I will forever cherish our story close to my heart. 

Aku Cinta Kamu Selalu

Reverb11: Day 22 - Passion, and lots of it!

Passion - If you could quit your day job and your quality of life wouldn't change, what would you do?

I am doing exactly what I am passionate about, exactly what I love, and exactly what I want to do as my job.  

I recognize that I am so lucky to be able to say that, and i don't take one moment of it for granted.  I am the manager at a new Hot Yoga studio, as well as the main instructor on the roster.  Being a new studio, I know that we could either go big or we could go bust.  Everyday I worry about losing my dream job, everyday I work my ass off to get word out about the studio, to work on being both a better manager and instructor, and to keep the studio clean and welcoming.  


I know that I will not let this studio disappear anytime soon.  It is here to stay if I have anything to do with it, and I will continue to pour my heart and soul into every aspect of it to see it succeed.


Wish me luck!

Reverb11: Day 7 - Gift Giving

Day 7. Part 2:  “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” (David Viscott) 

What is your gift to give?

Days that I'm feeling down it is harder to think of what my gift is.  Today I had a good day, leaving me feeling much better than I have in the last few days, so I felt very able to share my gifts...yes you read that right...giftsssss.


I would like to think that at 27 years of age I still have more gifts to discover, but I have been very fortunate thus far to discover the gifts that I have.  Even more fortunate is that I have had the opportunity to give my gifts to others, share myself with those willing to accept.


I was brought up in a very loving family, and taught to wear my heart on my sleeve.  My big heart is a gift, as much as it does cause me pain at times, it is a wonderful gift to have and a true blessing to share.


I found yoga, or yoga found me, at a time in my life where major changes were occurring.  I always put 110% of myself into things that brings me joy, and true to my character I put everything into my yoga practice.  It lead to me meet some amazing people, go to amazing places, and live some amazing experiences.  Yoga is a gift, and my recognition of that and my passion for it lead me to change careers and become a yoga instructor so that I can share this gift with others.  

Other gifts that I love to share:
- the gift of listening...I have always been told that I am a good listener.
- the gift of laughter...I am certainly no comedian, but I have been known to crack people up on occasion.


"Every little gift you give of yourself has the potential to make a big impact". ~Samin Nosrat

Reverb11: Day 6 Part 2

There are more than one Reverb prompts to sign up for, so I'm going to answer the prompt from more than one if the mood strikes me!

Day 6. Part 2: What can you do to add ease to 2012?

2011 has had many goodbyes, and it doesn't seem to be letting up as we near the end either!  

I think the best way to ease 2012 is to add another wall.  People close to me keep telling me that my heart is too big, that I trust too easily, and that I let people in too quickly.  I know that those traits open me up to potentially receive more pain, however they also open me up to experiences that I wouldn't have in my life otherwise.  It's a tough decision: potential for pain, or potential for experiences.

2011 was most certainly a year of amazing experiences, mostly due to openness, love, and trust.  This year also involved a lot of pain due to openness, love, and trust.

To add ease to 2012, I don't want to build a complete wall, maybe one of those walls in cubicles that are somewhat thin, both easy to put up and take down, and that you can decorate easily with pushpins.  I need to start protecting my heart, but I know I would be doing a huge disservice to myself to close it completely.  

At the end of the day...or year...ease seems boring to me.  I suppose everything requires balance, some ease, some difficulty.  A graceful balance between the two, with a bit more weight in the difficulty category would be just fine with me for 2012!

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller.   

Reverb11: Day 4

Day 4: Addition Through Subtraction - What have you let go of this year and how has it affected you?

2011 has been a year of change, and naturally has meant a lot of addition and subtraction to my life.  I have let go of the nomadic lifestyle I had for so long, I have let go of friendships and relationships, I have let go of some of my dreams, but I have also embraced new friendships and relationships, and created new hopes and dreams.  

The biggest thing I let go of this year was love.  I was massively in love, but sadly geography, among other things, made it a huge source of stress for me, and ultimately all of the impossibilities of it brought it to an end.  It has affected me in many ways.  The decision was not come to lightly, it involved a lot of soul searching.  I found out where a lot of my limits are, and I think most importantly I learned a lot about love and life.  It was definitely the hardest decision I have ever had to make, and took a lot out of me, but thankfully a lot of positive things have come from making that decision.

**I began writing this post last night after receiving the prompt, and remaining constant with my year of change, today was another day of change and one which requires letting go.  Ridiculous that this prompt was for this day!

So today I went to have lunch with and spend the whole day with a guy I have been seeing and instead of going hiking, cooking dinner together, and watching a movie as planned, he broke up with me.  He was one of the "positive things" I was referring to that had come from my decision to end my last relationship, and now that too has come to an end and I have to begin the process of letting go once again.

We were not together for a long time, in fact it was a short time, but I don't buy into the timelines that a lot of people tend to place on relationships.  I follow my heart, and I feel the energy and the connection that I have with a person and pay little attention to the length of time we are together.  Perhaps that was the problem.  Perhaps that scares men.  Perhaps it was the timing.  Perhaps I'll never know what it was.

What I do know is that I felt a tremendous connection with this person.  We had a great energy and chemistry.  We were a great fit, had amazing conversation, had similar desires for our lives, and I felt like things were perfectly aligned.  His words, actions, eyes, and touch said that he cared for me, said that he felt the same way I did, said that he saw the potential of a future, but ultimately whether his actions were true, or whether his actions were not true, I am still faced with letting go of those feelings, hopes, shared dreams, amazing conversation, unforgettable kisses, and strong connection.  I have no choice in the matter, as one often doesn't after being dumped, I just have to let go.

It sucks, it hurts, its surprising, but no matter how wrong it may feel, or how much of an idiot I think he is for calling it a day so soon, I have to pick myself up, and just continue moving forward (as much as the thought of going through this again makes me want to poke my eyes out with a rusty fork).

So as 2011 draws to a close, I definitely didn't expect to be "letting go" of something else, but here it is, here I am, and here I go.

Ps. Isn't there some sort of unwritten rule about no breakups allowed in December?!

Reverb11: Day 3

Almost caught up now!

Day 3: A Moment in Time - Tell us about one moment that you lived in 2011 that you will never forget.

This is the most difficult question I think I have ever been asked, and feel impossible to even attempt to answer.  

Some of the most unforgettable moments would be:

-Swimming in the holy Ganga River in India. (very close to the source so still clean!)

-Hiking in Sapa, Vietnam and staying for a night in the home of a Black Hmong tribe family.

-Taking a boat out to the middle of the ocean to surf in Lombok, Indonesia.

-Bathing an elephant, and playing with her in the water in Luang Prabang, Laos.

-Seeing my family and friends after such a long time away.

-The birth of my niece.

There are so many more amazing moments from 2011 that I will never forget, they are forever etched in my soul.

Find your joy!

Being a yoga teacher, I am constantly reading books and articles on being present in life, opening your heart, awakening dormant energies in our bodies, and other such things that will help improve my yoga practice and ultimately my life.  Things that I can therefore carry with me to my classes and pass on to my students.

One thing that I often say in class is "find your joy!", usually set in the context of holding Warrior 2 for five long breathes and I try to encourage my students to focus on something other than the burn so they don't kill me.  This theme is something that, although I say it to kill the silence and distract students from their burning muscles, is also meant to plant a seed in those receptive minds, that they can use in their yoga practice, but can also carry it through to their life off their yoga mat.

As Canadians, we often lose sight of our joy, the things in life that cultivate happiness and bliss.  Generally speaking, we don't lose our joy due to poverty, famine, civil wars, lack of education, and therefore lack of job prospects.  Typically, we lose our joy due to trying to keep up with the jones', and therefore overworking in jobs we dislike, commuting long distances to get to those jobs, buying homes that put us in economic strain, eating "quick" food due to lack of time to prepare healthy meals, putting on excessive amounts of weight, spending our hard earned money on crazy quick fix schemes to lose that weight, and ultimately being "required" to work even more at the job we hate just to keep the deadly and unhappy cycle going.  It is an exhausting life if we let it be, and honestly after living in Asia and traveling in all of the countries I have, I see that in most cases even those who are faced with truly difficult living conditions and circumstances still have joy, and happiness, and generally on a more consistent basis than we do in our comparatively comfortable lives.  They know how to find their joy.  They make time for those things, and keep everything in perspective.

I am not at all an expert on joy, I would love to be one, but I don't think that they actually exist.  All I can do is draw upon things I read, feel, and experience and hope that I can develop a strong understanding of how to find joy, and then the even harder task, how to keep that joy coming on a consistent basis.

I have been trying to cultivate a life for myself where I consistently have joy.  It is certainly more difficult since having come back from Asia, and I have run off the track a few times since coming home in May, but after having read my dear friend Mary's blog post the other day about "joy triggers", I decided to put it all out there, following suit with Mary, and answering her question:     

"What things bring me joy?"

Yoga...quite simply any one yoga posture will instantly brighten my day...standing on my head, a backbend of any kind, opening my heart, and smiling while doing it!

Having a bath while listening to music and singing with the wonderful acoustics of the bathroom.

Watching inspiring talks on TED and feeling uplifted, hopeful, understood, and an overwhelming warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart.

Hugging and loving my precious niece Rayah.

Writing, whether I ever publish it in a blog post or a book doesn't matter, what matters is that I get it out of my heart and head and into the universe.

Tattoos, examining my existing ones, dreaming up new ones, and seeing them turn into reality...once the funds are available of course.

Having a giant cup of green tea in a colourful mug with a good friend, a good book, a good movie, good music, and/or a comfy blanket.

Visiting with my nanny(grandma) who has Alzheimer's, and answering her question, "do you have a boyfriend yet?!" differently every time she asks...which is generally every 5 minutes. (Some people may think of this as mean, but it makes me giggle, doesn't harm her, and is certainly better than the alternative of repeating myself a hundred times and getting irritated and my nanny ultimately sensing that irritation.

hiking, walking, biking...anything that takes me outside where the fresh air can touch my cheeks the way it feels when a hand gently caresses my cheek before a kiss.

Chocolate...dark, milk, white, with nuts, raisins, granola, caramel...doesn't matter in what form or combination, chocolate just does it for me!

Hannah, my cat, when she comes running to the door to greet me, when she rubs her head against mine (ps. she's doing this as I write!), and when she gives me little sandpaper kisses.

Watching a breathtaking sunset.

Looking at a plant and remembering its botanical(latin) name and english name after three years of being out of that field.

Sleeping in...which is rare, but when it happens oh god let the joy flow!

Taking pictures of anything, namely plants, animals, children, and elderly people...anything is life, or colour, or that tells a story.

Four dollar martinis on a Friday night.

Wearing dresses...they're so flowy and free!

and numerous other little things...

This concept of identifying those small, seemingly unimportant things that bring joy to my life, is a tricky one...probably trickier for some...but still tricky for me, a self-aware yoga teacher who teaches others to find their joy in their practice and in their life!  Give it a try, you don't need to share it with others, just share it with yourself!

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode?  Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest?  Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts?  Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.

Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.

I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long.  I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold.  Would I find a job?  Would my friendships still be intact?  Would I adjust and be happy?  As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place.  Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined?  Oh hell no!  Is that necessarily a bad thing?  Certainly not.  I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life.   Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here.  I have had a few breakdowns.  Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home.  Second guessed my dreams and desires.  Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends.  Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.

Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have.  I feel very fulfilled at the moment.  I am working hard but having fun in every moment.  I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time.  It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits.  I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.

My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas.  I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions.  I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting.  I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation.  I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.

Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 8 of 20

I'm back!

I was hoping to be able to say I'm back, rejuvenated, relaxed, and ready to conquer all...however I am still exhausted.  I had an excellent week off.  The perfect mix of relaxation and fun.  The first week back to work was stressful, hectic, and a little crazy, therefore I am once again exhausted.  

This weekend I wanted to try to alleviate some of that stress and exhaustion so I decided to take a Meaggy weekend.  I could have gone to Seoul to visit friends, partied all night in Daejeon, gone hiking in 40 degree weather, but I decided to just take it easy, spend the weekend completely alone, try to remove things from my massive and continually growing to do list, and rejuvenate again.  

So here I am.  I'm sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Daejeon.  On the second floor, offering views of people bustling around below, with a floor to ceiling window.  I've just had a waffle for lunch with fruit and gelato.  I plan to spend my day like this.  Cafe jumping.  Escaping the heinous humidity that the Korean summer brings.  Reading, writing, taking photos, and applying to grad schools.  

This weekend brought something I love about myself to the forefront.  I love that I am a strong, independent young woman.

This is not something I have always considered myself.  Perhaps because I wasn't always independent, I don't know, but I do know one reason for me not considering this a quality I possessed...people have always labelled me as dependent.  I can definitely see why people would see me as such.  

The thing I have realized is that so many things that shouldn't be viewed as negative qualities in people often are.  Think about the word selfish.  Being concerned solely with yourself without regard for others.  This of course sounds negative and is in many cases, but why does putting your own wellbeing first label you as selfish in a negative way.  When I decided to leave Canada and live in South Korea for a year of course my family wasn't overjoyed at the idea.  My family said they needed me, my support, my presence.  I said I needed to get away for a while for my own survival.  Does this make me selfish?  I mean I was concerned mostly with myself, and of course I considered my family's wishes, but I left anyway.  So by definition people would likely call me selfish (and have done so), but when does an individuals needs come into play in this equation?

My point in saying that is that people perceive certain qualities as negative, when they ought to be analyzed more thoroughly.  This brought me to understand why people might see me as dependent (yet again another negative quality).  I am very expressive of my emotions.  I tell people when they have hurt me.  I show that I'm angry, sad, stressed, happy, excited.  I am open about all of my emotions.  I'm an open book.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I like to talk to friends and family about my problems.  I cry on shoulders.  I vent.  And because of all of these things I am seen as weak and dependent on others for emotional support.  

I feel as though showing my emotions, expressing myself, and being an open book makes me courageous as opposed to weak.  I consider those who never let others in to be more weak than the former.  They pretend to be something other then themselves to mask pain, hide emotions.  They never ask for help, but rather suffer in silence.  They consider themselves strong and independent for this.  I'm not about to say that's not true, as there certainly can be strength found in those qualities, but I certainly can't understand why those people see a person with the courage to put it all out there as weak.  

The bottom line is that, yes, I like to have people in my life to lean on or cry on when I'm sad or angry, however there have been many instances where that hasn't been the case, and I'm still here right?  I'm still alive and kicking.  I didn't spontaneously combust from dealing with my emotions on my own.  I am perfectly capable of dealing with my emotions without help from others, it just so happens that I am strong enough to admit that if I have the option to have a shoulder from a loved one then I'll take it.  

So everyone, I am strong.  Strong and courageous.  I am independent.  And I love those qualities about myself.  Whether other people see me as those things or not, I know I am, and I love it!

Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 7 of 20

This past weekend was awful.  Just awful.  It started out well, but ended very poorly.  So that's why I am late.  I'm late because I wasn't feeling particularly loving of myself.  All the love and caring in my body was going towards a remarkable friend and woman and a cuddly little monkey child.  When I thought "what do I love about myself?" the only answers that came up were unrelated to me as a person and really just turned into new questions.

Yesterday, however was my birthday.  I'm now OVER a quarter of a century.  It's scary and exciting.  But the best part of my birthday was that it made me realize something that I love about myself.

Some people take their lives very seriously.  Leave little time for their own enjoyment.  Don't allow themselves to stray from their responsibilities, or obligations.  They are hardened by the corporate world and the politics within.  Jaded by the loss of childhood dreams and beliefs.  Grasped far too strongly to the expectations put on them to grow up, mature, be responsible at all costs.

Some people take their lives very lightly.  Leave little time for their responsibilities and only focus on their own enjoyment.  Don't have obligations, or just don't see them as such.  They are oblivious to the corporate world and the harsh politics within.  Jaded by nothing.  Grasped far too strongly to the Peter Pan mantra from their childhood and live in their own personal Never Never Land.

Some people walk along the fence on the border of seriousness and childishness.  Leave a balanced proportion of time for both their own enjoyment and for their responsibilities.  Don't allow themselves to stray too far on either extreme, or allow themselves to do so on occasion.  They are hardened by the corporate world and the sticky politics within, yet seek an escape from it to maintain some semblance of a conflict free zone in their lives.  Jaded by the loss of some childhood dreams, yet remain certain that some will come true, and ultimately work toward their fulfillment.  Grasped far too strongly to the a perhaps unrealistic ideal of equality and peace, to the idea that nice people do finish first, that good actions receive good actions, that everything happens for a reason, the good things WILL come, all in an attempt to stop the inevitable insanity that would grab them if they let themselves admit that these ideals are not consistent, and do tend to be rare for many.

Of course I'm not saying those are the ONLY kinds of people in the world.  There are also lazy people that are neither serious nor childish because they just can't be assed.  There are pessimists and optimists.  There are do-gooders, and martyrs.  The list could be endless really, but for me in my current world, I see people as either too serious, too childish, or a fine balance of the two.  Actually maybe I need to add in also the lazy type as well.

On my birthday, my students sang happy birthday to me.  They gave me hugs and kisses.  They told me they love me.

I realized that I am a good Kinder teacher...and why?...because I'm still a child at heart.  I take my job seriously in terms of making sure I educate them appropriately, impart my knowledge (albeit limited), and they learn what they are meant to learn.  I do however do all of that with a fun-loving nature.  I dance and sing, make silly faces, act like farm animals and draw pictures all over the board until they understand and are laughing.  They love me because they can relate to me, or maybe more appropriately I can relate to them.

I'm trying to teach them that learning can be fun.  Give them a foundation to build upon and grow with.  Provide them with the motivation to learn all they can, and do so with laughter and enjoyment.

So week 7: I love that I am young at heart, a child when I can be...but still responsible and realistic about my obligations as a ...ahem...26 year old. There I said it!

My birthday was a good one.  Throughout the whole day I received messages via facebook .  Well wishes for a great day.  Hopes for a fabulous 26th year of life.  I was surprised and pleased with all of the love coming my way from friends and family all over the world.

My morning was full of great big hugs from teeny tiny people.  Love and kisses from the greatest source...my little ones.  Playing with them in the playroom after story time, contributing to my child-like nature as they do everyday.

Birthday wishes and gifts from co-workers and friends.  Birthday songs in both English and Korean.

Lunch was with the usual lunch crew, Sarah and Myles, and Myles delighted both Sarah and I with treating us to lunch.  The afternoon was full of birthday wishes from the elementary school children.  Lots of "I love you's", chocolate, cards, and notebooks.

After work I was joined by a few friends, (Sarah, Myles, Kevin, Megan, Bryan, and Young Hoo) who are also children in big people bodies, for a fabulous Korean meal complete with drinks and gourmet cupcakes from Megan.

Among those beautiful faces was another source of keeping me young at heart.
The sweet Jinu.
The little monkey that hangs from my arm.
The shit slinging kookamunga that instantly brings a smile to my face.

All of these beautiful, unique, and remarkable characters in my life keep me sane.  They bring laughter to my heart.  They bring love to my soul.  They bring life to my being.

So thank you to everyone who contributed to making my date of birth a gorgeous day.
It was truly a beautiful day.

Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 5 of 20

Legs. They are remarkable. They come in so many different shapes, sizes, colours, abilities.

They all tell different stories.

My legs tell a story of great adventures and misadventures.

They have taken me to new heights.

and new lows.

Through open doors.

and closed ones.

They have carried me to different countries.

and through a half marathon.

My legs allow me to jump and splash in puddles.

and ride bicycles all over the city.

They twist, turn, and bend in every which way.

and help me keep up with my little ones.

They have scars, scrapes, and bruises showing where I've been.

and they inspire me to build dreams of where they'll go.

They glide through water.

Hike up mountains.

Fly through the air.

Descend into valleys.

Climb trees and rocks.

Dance all night.

Play all day.

My legs may not look exactly as I would like them to. They may not even function at the level I want them to. Sometimes I feel pain. My knees aren't good, and my right hip locks often, but they have yet to fail me in reaching a goal, fulfilling a dream.

I love my legs. My legs tell a story. A great one. One that will continue to grow and evolve for as long as my little legs allow me.

And I want to give a HUGE thank you to Sarah for taking the most beautiful pictures she could have given the subject matter ^_^

The loveliest of lovelies

My dad is the loveliest of lovelies!

Truly, honestly, completely the loveliest man I know.

My dad is a man of few words, but those few words are ones you want to hear, and truly listen to.

He is both a solid rock, of which you can always rely on, lean on, and depend on to stay in one piece; and a plush teddy bear, of which you can give and receive giant bear hugs, great long cuddles, and depend on to make you smile.

He is gentle, a big softy really.

He is generous of his time and wisdom.

He is the hardest working man I have ever known and probably will ever know.

He is a badass with a tattoo on his shoulder to prove it (even if it is a heart made of mine and my sisters initials).

He is a remarkable role model.

He is a lover of the outdoors; flowers, trees, lakes, and oceans calm him.

He enjoys the simple things in life. Family, food, and relaxing on the deck up north or in the backyard at home.

My dad is the kindest of the kind, the dorkiest of dorks, the cutest of the cute, the cuddliest of the cuddly, and just simply the loveliest of lovelies.

Happy Father's Day daddy.

I love you bery bery muchy (as my Korean kids would say!)