Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 7 of 20

This past weekend was awful.  Just awful.  It started out well, but ended very poorly.  So that's why I am late.  I'm late because I wasn't feeling particularly loving of myself.  All the love and caring in my body was going towards a remarkable friend and woman and a cuddly little monkey child.  When I thought "what do I love about myself?" the only answers that came up were unrelated to me as a person and really just turned into new questions.

Yesterday, however was my birthday.  I'm now OVER a quarter of a century.  It's scary and exciting.  But the best part of my birthday was that it made me realize something that I love about myself.

Some people take their lives very seriously.  Leave little time for their own enjoyment.  Don't allow themselves to stray from their responsibilities, or obligations.  They are hardened by the corporate world and the politics within.  Jaded by the loss of childhood dreams and beliefs.  Grasped far too strongly to the expectations put on them to grow up, mature, be responsible at all costs.

Some people take their lives very lightly.  Leave little time for their responsibilities and only focus on their own enjoyment.  Don't have obligations, or just don't see them as such.  They are oblivious to the corporate world and the harsh politics within.  Jaded by nothing.  Grasped far too strongly to the Peter Pan mantra from their childhood and live in their own personal Never Never Land.

Some people walk along the fence on the border of seriousness and childishness.  Leave a balanced proportion of time for both their own enjoyment and for their responsibilities.  Don't allow themselves to stray too far on either extreme, or allow themselves to do so on occasion.  They are hardened by the corporate world and the sticky politics within, yet seek an escape from it to maintain some semblance of a conflict free zone in their lives.  Jaded by the loss of some childhood dreams, yet remain certain that some will come true, and ultimately work toward their fulfillment.  Grasped far too strongly to the a perhaps unrealistic ideal of equality and peace, to the idea that nice people do finish first, that good actions receive good actions, that everything happens for a reason, the good things WILL come, all in an attempt to stop the inevitable insanity that would grab them if they let themselves admit that these ideals are not consistent, and do tend to be rare for many.

Of course I'm not saying those are the ONLY kinds of people in the world.  There are also lazy people that are neither serious nor childish because they just can't be assed.  There are pessimists and optimists.  There are do-gooders, and martyrs.  The list could be endless really, but for me in my current world, I see people as either too serious, too childish, or a fine balance of the two.  Actually maybe I need to add in also the lazy type as well.

On my birthday, my students sang happy birthday to me.  They gave me hugs and kisses.  They told me they love me.

I realized that I am a good Kinder teacher...and why?...because I'm still a child at heart.  I take my job seriously in terms of making sure I educate them appropriately, impart my knowledge (albeit limited), and they learn what they are meant to learn.  I do however do all of that with a fun-loving nature.  I dance and sing, make silly faces, act like farm animals and draw pictures all over the board until they understand and are laughing.  They love me because they can relate to me, or maybe more appropriately I can relate to them.

I'm trying to teach them that learning can be fun.  Give them a foundation to build upon and grow with.  Provide them with the motivation to learn all they can, and do so with laughter and enjoyment.

So week 7: I love that I am young at heart, a child when I can be...but still responsible and realistic about my obligations as a ...ahem...26 year old. There I said it!

My birthday was a good one.  Throughout the whole day I received messages via facebook .  Well wishes for a great day.  Hopes for a fabulous 26th year of life.  I was surprised and pleased with all of the love coming my way from friends and family all over the world.

My morning was full of great big hugs from teeny tiny people.  Love and kisses from the greatest source...my little ones.  Playing with them in the playroom after story time, contributing to my child-like nature as they do everyday.

Birthday wishes and gifts from co-workers and friends.  Birthday songs in both English and Korean.

Lunch was with the usual lunch crew, Sarah and Myles, and Myles delighted both Sarah and I with treating us to lunch.  The afternoon was full of birthday wishes from the elementary school children.  Lots of "I love you's", chocolate, cards, and notebooks.

After work I was joined by a few friends, (Sarah, Myles, Kevin, Megan, Bryan, and Young Hoo) who are also children in big people bodies, for a fabulous Korean meal complete with drinks and gourmet cupcakes from Megan.

Among those beautiful faces was another source of keeping me young at heart.
The sweet Jinu.
The little monkey that hangs from my arm.
The shit slinging kookamunga that instantly brings a smile to my face.

All of these beautiful, unique, and remarkable characters in my life keep me sane.  They bring laughter to my heart.  They bring love to my soul.  They bring life to my being.

So thank you to everyone who contributed to making my date of birth a gorgeous day.
It was truly a beautiful day.