Reverb11: Day 15 - the unexpected teacher

Teaching Moment - Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places.  Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?

We certainly do find teachers in the most unexpected places.  This may sound ignorant, but I never thought that I would consider a person with little to no education as a teacher.  However, late in 2010 I met a person who very quickly became a teacher to me in so many ways, which continued long into 2011.  

When describing him to people I would often say that he was incredibly wise, peaceful, and happy.  That although he was younger than myself and has little education, that he taught me a great deal about myself, about love, and about life.  

This person is Hermansah.  The man I met and fell instantly in love with while traveling in Indonesia.  I had never experienced this before.  Never felt instantly connected to another person.  Never felt drawn to another person despite my better judgement.  But there I was, falling in love at first sight with a man three years my junior, whose home is quite literally on the other side of the world to my home, who has no formal education past high school, who has a job that pays him the equivalent of $80 a month, and who has never left his small island.

There were so many impossibilities right from the start.  

But there was no way to turn away from this love without giving it a fair shot.

We were together for an amazing month from the start, and me being as honest as usual about my apprehension about our relationship, he quickly put my worries to rest saying, "follow your heart".

I left Indonesia to continue my travels as planned.  While traveling I grew to know very quickly that my heart was still in Indonesia despite my body and my mind being in whatever country I was in at that moment.  With my strict budget, there was no room for doubling back to a country I had already been to and that required a flight, but in keeping with Hermansah's teachings I threw caution to the wind, "followed my heart", and said a big old Eff You to my budget, spontaneously booking a flight back to Indonesia. 


We spent last Christmas and New Years together, and decided we didn't want to be apart again so we decided to travel together, Hermansah leaving his country for the first time.


We traveled through Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand together before parting ways once again where I went to India for 3 months, and Hermansah went back home to Indonesia.


While apart we spoke over the phone as much as humanly possible, sending messages on facebook as often as we could, and sending our love across the ocean.


I had planned to go back to Indonesia after India, but while in India I got some big news...my big sister was pregnant.  It honestly was bittersweet.  On one side I was so happy for her, and excited to finally become an aunt (it was a long time coming), but on the other side it meant that I would need to go home to Canada and hold off on Indonesia.  


Having been away from Canada for 2 years already at that point, I made the difficult decision to head home, arriving back in Canada in May 2011.  Once home Hermansah and I continued skyping and messaging on facebook whenever possible, and we began the long process to get a tourist visa for him to come visit Canada and meet my family.  We finally heard back from the Canadian Embassy in September.  Hermansah was declined his tourist visa.  We were both devastated, disappointed, and defeated.  Initially, I began getting things organized to reapply.  I purchased land in Indonesia so that he would have more "ties" to his country.  He enrolled in school for a 2012 start to add another reason why he would need to go back to Indonesia since the Canadian government doesn't deem family as reason enough.  


Soon I started to grow very stressed and tired with the whole process.  I started to realize that if it was this difficult to get him a tourist visa, imagine the difficulty in getting a resident visa if thats what we wanted to do down the road.  After my niece, Rayah, was born on September 23rd, I fell in love with her at first sight.  For the second time in my life, I felt instantly connected to another being, albeit in a much different way than with Hermansah, but nonetheless it was there.  


I realized even more at this point that it was unlikely I would relocate permanently to Indonesia.  I knew I would definitely be up to living abroad again for a year or two, but not likely permanently.  This lead me to a very heartbreaking decision.  One which I will perhaps never know if it was the "right" decision, but one that needed to be made at that moment.  We still speak occasionally, I still think of him, I still miss his presence in my life, but all i can do at this point is focus on my present moment and not worry about the past or the future for that matter.

In our 11 month relationship, Hermansah never stopped teaching me.  The biggest lesson was that he taught me to love wholeheartedly, without discrimination, without investigation.  He taught we to not dwell on the past, just keep moving forward, following my heart at all times and with every action.  Hermansah taught me to be patient with myself, and others.  He taught me to be patient with life.  I had never met anyone who could calm me when stressed with so little as a smile and a gentle touch.  Hermansah taught me to cherish my family.  His respect and love for his mother bringing him into this world especially amazed me.  His simultaneous strength and sensitivity showed me that I too can be strong despite my very active tear ducts.  I can't even put into words how much this one man taught me.  I will forever cherish our story close to my heart. 

Aku Cinta Kamu Selalu

Terima Kasih…Sama Sama

 

October 25-28

The Gili Islands.  Three small islands between the islands of Bali and Lombok in Indonesia.  A three hour fast boat ride from Bali, and only a 30 minute slow boat ride to Lombok.  Sounds good.

Lena, my couch surfing host, and I decided to go to the Gili’s together for a short vacay.  We booked our tickets the night before we left…keeping with my last minute nature of course.  We were picked up at 6:30am, which wasn’t a problem for me since the chickens had been waking me at 5am every morning anyway.  It was a one hour drive to Padangbai, the harbour we departed from. 

The boat took between 2 and 3 hours to get to Gili Trawangan.  We all got off the boat and waited for our bags to be thrown off the boat.  We were starving and decided to nourish ourselves before scouring the island for a cheap place to stay.  We didn’t walk far before we found a quiet place to rest and reenergize.  We were accompanied by some adorable kittens as well, which is always welcomed company for me.

Once we were rejuvenated and ready to go, we bartered a price to rent 2 bicycles for 2 days.  Riding almost half way around the island we found only one place that met our budget…but it did not meet my cleanliness requirements.  So we returned to the main part of the island and ran into a man on a bicycle who said he had a room for 140,000 rupiah(including breakfast)…split in half meant it met our budget…so we had a look.  It was beautiful.  He and his wife have four rooms, each very spacious, white, light, and clean.  As soon as we saw it we said “yes!”.  So Rumah Kundun was to be our home for the next four days.

While Lena had a rest, I went exploring by foot.  While looking at some handmade bracelets, two girls walked up to check them out as well.  I looked up and saw Cinthia, a girl I had spoken to for about 5 minutes in Ubud a few days prior.  She had met, Kirstin, a girl from England on the boat ride over to the Gili’s.  We joined forces to do some exploring before deciding to stop for some delicious snacks to tide us over until dinner time. 

I went back to shower, get dressed for the evening, and wake Lena from her rest.  We spent the evening having a lovely Indonesian meal, and chatting about anything and everything.  We planned to meet the next morning and ride bikes around the island…which, we were told would take no longer than an hour.  So after having delicious banana pancakes and some fresh fruit for breakfast we met the girls.  It was a beautiful day, but rather humid for an afternoon of bike riding.  The somewhat paved road didn’t last for long and soon turned into compacted sand, and then loose sand.  We had to start walking our bicycles, thereby no longer producing the breeze that was keeping us alive under the full rays of the sun.  After far too long walking our bikes, and not knowing how much further this loose sand would last we cut down a road that would lead us back to the main strip.  Parched from the trip we stopped at a spot on the beach that was quiet, and had bamboo huts to shield us from the sun.  They served delicious fruit shakes and ice cream to satisfy everyone’s needs.  The day ended with another fabulous dinner and a giant strawberry daquiri and live reggae music at a Reggae Bar called ‘Sama Sama’, meaning ‘you’re welcome’ in Bahasa. 

 

 

The next day was spent doing much of the same thing as the previous day minus the bikes…we went to the beach, read, swam, napped, read, ate, and repeat.  We did however make a plan for the following day to go snorkeling.  Being very productive.

   

We met at 11am to get on a boat and go to Gili Air, and Gili Meno for some amazing snorkeling.  The sky was clear and blue.  The ocean was clear and blue.  The fish were colourful.  The coral was colourful(what wasn’t dead from stupid tourists touching it).  The water was so warm and inviting.

      

 

We saw 3 turtles, tons of fish, beautiful coral, and sun beaming through crystal clear water.

We stopped on Gili Meno for lunch and then continued on for a little more snorkeling before heading back to Gili Trawangan. 

The next day was spent relaxing on the beach, reading, writing, and swimming.  Kirstin and I planned to go to Lombok for a quick look around, and our friends Vian, and Herman offered to come with us and show us around.  So the next morning we all waited for the boat to go across to Bangsal, Lombok.  We stayed for only two days, giving us only a small taste of what the gorgeous island had to offer.

Kirstin and I head back to Gili Trawangan for another few days of relaxing in the sun.  When Kirstin left I teamed up with 3 other girls, Anna, Sarah, and Val.  We rented bicycles and did the tricky ride around the island again, this time being attacked by the biggest rain storm I had seen since the flooding of the main street in Ubud.  To escape the rain we ran to a small hut that acted as a bar to anyone who ventured out there to see the sunset.  A local guy was twirling balls around and then when it grew dark he lit them on fire.  We hadn’t even realized at this point that the rain had already stopped.

  

   

       

The evenings were spent watching sunsets, eating delicious food, and dancing until bed time.  The days were spent relaxing.  It was a glorious few days and a very welcomed chilling time before continuing with the rest of my journey.

My word for Gili Trawangan: power…because allowed myself to relax, to slow down, to enjoy, to indulge in the food, to follow my heart, and to just be.