Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 1 of 20

This is Week 1 of my "Self-Kindness Sundays" (a day late!), a spin-off from Sarah's "Slim-Down Sundays", where I will list one thing every Sunday that I LOVE about myself.

So here is number 1:

I love that I wear my heart on my sleeve. (Both literally and figuratively)

It is something that can, has, and will get me hurt. It is something that I curse, loathe, and try to smother, hide, and tuck away into a small box. But try as I might, it is a part of me. As much as some people would dread it as I have in the past, I recognize that it can be a gift, and one day someone will love that part of me as much as I do.

I think as much as I love this trait, I also need to learn to control it in certain situations...but that's all part of my personal development isn't it? So it will come with time, but in the meantime I will love it, because after all it is a HUGE part of me.

Is 20 the new magic number?

Once again answering the call of my sistah Sarah, I am joining her in a 20/20 Project. So here's the gist of it, Sarah has started on her quest to lose weight and feel great, dubbing it "20/20 Slim-Down Sundays". Then, Sarah extended out an invite for others to either join her on her Slim-Down Sundays or to create their own 20/20 project.

So I've been thinking a lot about what I could do for my 20/20 project, and quite frankly there are several projects that I want to and should undertake. I realize though, that if I overwhelm myself with too many self improvement projects than I'll probably end up not doing anything. So which one is most important to me to work on first...well after talking to Sarah about this quite a bit, and with "you're far too hard on yourself" ringing in my ears from multiple sources I decided that working on my self esteem and loving myself is paramount in my personal development.

If our thoughts create our reality, then mine is pretty bleak, and I certainly don't want my negative thoughts to become my reality.

So what do I do, where do I go from here?

Introducing a spin-off from Sarah's suggestion of "20 things you love about yourself"..."Self-Kindness Sundays". From my interpretation, Sarah intended for these projects to be a challenge, and a challenge this is! Like many people I find it hard to be nice to myself, but I'd venture to say that I am self hating. I don't just pick on myself, I beat myself up, rip myself apart, and cause immense amounts of stress (I should insert here, needlessly).

I also want to add being healthier to my quest of being kind to myself. I want to feel like Wonder Woman on my best AND worst days.

So here it is, for "Self-Kindness Sundays" I will:

• list one thing a week for 20 weeks that I LOVE about myself. I'm going to really think, really listen to myself, work on things that I don't love about myself and hopefully add them to the list of things I do love along the way.
• I will commit to scheduled, organized, workouts at least 3 times a week. I will be honest if I miss one...or two, and I will share what I'm doing and how its making me feel inside and out.

So as for the exercise, I start Hot Yoga tomorrow. It is something I did when I was at home and moving to Korea I was unable to find a place until now. It made me feel the best I've ever felt physically, and mentally, so it's the perfect fitness class for me to take in the context of this project.

And as for the first thing I love about myself...well check out the official Week 1 post!!

Thanks for the inspiration and insight Sarah. You are a remarkable woman, mother, sister, sistah, friend, teacher, writer, photographer, artist...etc.!!! I can't wait to see you at the end of the 20 weeks...how could you get any hotter? let's get real!

FIGHTING!!!!

Grungy Chic...Yuchon-Dong

I am surrounded by a stunning mix of manmade and natural beauty. I am constantly discovering new places to eat, passing an alley I haven't yet noticed, or being pulled aside by an 아줌마 (elderly lady) to tell me I'm 예쁘다 (pretty) and then ask me a million questions about myself. I think that some people may not think of where I live as beautiful, but I certainly do. I like to think of it as Grungy Chic, an eclectic mix of old and new. A contrast between informal and formal. This is the place I currently call home.

The streets I walk to work, to the supermarket, and to some of my favourite cafes, restaurants, and shops. The doorways, alleyways, nooks and crannies I pass while on a run.

This is where I eat delicious food, where I try to go with the flow.

This is where I explore the world and myself, where I learn so many new things.

This is where I plan adventures, where I ponder my life's biggest questions.

This is where I gain creative inspiration, where I meet new people everyday.

This is where I live, love, and laugh.

The Mother Load

Yesterday was a day to cherish mother's, to express to them how much we appreciate what they've done for us, how they have shaped our lives, and how beautiful they are to us.


I am not a mother, technically speaking, however I do happen to have some very little ones who look up to me, and depend on me to console them when they have hurt themselves, or when someone else has hurt them. I often feel sad when they are sad, I am happy when they are happy, and I have shed a tear or two on occasion when a little one hugs me sweetly because he or she can sense that I'm not the happiest of campers. Not to say that I can understand the full extent of emotions that motherhood creates, but I feel as though I have a sense of the feelings that are evoked.


Being so far removed from my family for 14 months has provided me with a chance to reflect on how much they mean to me. I have always found that I appreciate them so much more when they are not present in my life physically, and I suppose it is that way for many things in life. With so many peaks and valleys, and the natural ebb and flow of life it's easy to forget about finding the bright side of things. One thing I have noticed is that with every piece of bad news my family has received, I have found something positive from. Hard times tend to reveal qualities and character that I have yet to uncover in my family, and although the circumstances are not ideal the discovery is a treasure to be held tightly with both hands.


So as it is Mother's Day, the rest of this is all about you mum.


You have given me the ability to laugh, and to not apologize for how loud or ugly it may be. You have been a constant source of support, advice, and wisdom. The patience that you display in every aspect of your life is completely admirable and astounding. You are a child at heart, just like your dad, and I see so much more of him in you as you grow older. I am so proud of you, your courage, your strength, and your exploration. You are an adventure seeker at 59, a lover of massive proportions, and the best hugger in the world. Best of all you have given me the gift of wings. I cannot imagine how hard it is for you as a loving mother to have your baby girl on the other side of the world, but you have given me wings and let me go to live a life of adventure, exploration of both the world and of myself, and to open my eyes to everything that I couldn't at home.


I know the best gift I could give you on Mother's Day would be my presence, but I also know that you would consider my happiness and quest for even truer happiness as an even greater gift. I love you more than I will ever be capable of expressing. Thank you.


엄마 사랑해

Questions and answers

My sisters of spirit, Mary and Sarah, have started an outstanding creative project that has been opening my mind, heart and mouth. They are sharing their beautiful minds, and talents every week in A Perspective Project. Each week they have opposing pictures, whose inspiration is uniquely interpreted from two opposing words. Last week the theme was Order and Chaos, and it struck me on a deeply personal level.

Mary asked the question, "how does chaos creep into your life and what affect does it have on you?"

Well Mary, you asked so I shall answer.

Chaos creeps into every single aspect of my life and to be honest I enjoy it most of the time. The kind of chaos that leads you to a waterfall on the top of a mountain,

or the kind that pushes you to get the alone time you need and desire, but haven't had the balls to take for yourself, that leads you to explore a new nook or cranny, or a new angle or lighting for a photo.

Chaos is a sneaky bugger and for me, when things seem to be going great that's when it usually gets me. Like when my ducks are lining up in a neat and tidy row, or I find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, a wolf comes along and chows down on my neat and tidy ducks, and a flash flood grabs the pot of gold with its grubby mitts and runs off into the sunset. Okay, so it's not all that bad, but I had to paint the picture more dramatically...for effect you see.

I'm sure that many people in my age group experience some social pressures, whether they are from family, friends, or society. The pressure and expectation of having a distinct career path, being well on the way to having a house, fancy car, lifelong partner, and being the proud owner of at least half of the millions of gadgets and gidgets available on the market today. And it's that push to conform to social norms and expectations that drives me to love and adore being disorderly in some aspects of my life. I don't want whoozits and whatzits galore; I want memories and experiences aplenty...that in my experience thus far do not present themselves in an entirely orderly and organized life.

Like I said, for the most part I enjoy the presence of Chaos in my life. However, I do despise it pushing its way in through the thing I care about above all else...family. I don't touch your family; I don't toy with their health and emotions, so Chaos I ask you, why do you play with mine? This is between you and me, so leave my family out of it. I suppose I can't put all the blame on you, but please throw us a bone once in a while.

Seriously though, I handle Chaos with regards to my family by expressing my love for them at every chance I get, and trying to remain clear headed and rational, which can sometimes be extremely difficult yet for me is necessary. I like to think that all other kinds of chaos in my life I deal with in such a way that I grab it by the horns, ride the wave, look for the rainbow, and allow myself to often have a bit of mud on the brain. I like to let it take me where it pleases, even if it means getting hurt along the way.

I see chaos as a driving factor in my life these days, leading me out of one chapter and into the next, usually whether I think I'm finished with the last chapter or not.

It's an adventure of epic proportions, it's an exploration of self, others, and far away places. Most of all it's a test of strength and character, will and fear, love and hope, laughter and tears, and of life.

"Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth."

~ Tom Barrett

Sunshine and Green Tea

This weekend I wanted to get out of Daejeon for some rest and relaxation in the mountains. Plans don't always pan out however so I went with the flow of the weekend.

I worked Saturday morning handing out ECC notebooks to children and parents at Elementary schools. Then I went downtown with a camera in hand to have green tea lattes on a terrace, and snap pictures of whatever struck my fancy.

The weather was perfect. The inspiration aplenty. While waiting for Kevin to meet me for a drink and dinner I wandered over to an outdoor stage where there happened to be some music playing. There was an awesome crowd of Korean punks and skaters, which in Daejeon at least, is a rare sight. I spent about an hour walking around the area taking pics and listening to good music, which was such a delight and welcomed change. While taking pictures, I was approached by a dude with a very strange haircut...I'm talking mohawk that covered his eyes completely. I have no idea how he could see, but I guess he could. His English was poor but he provided a refreshing glimpse at Koreans. In his broken English and my broken Korean we "communicated" for awhile about music, teaching, cameras, and friends.

Kevin arrived so we head to an outdoor patio for an afternoon beer or two and some grub. With the music in the background, guys practicing tricks on their bikes and skateboards, a beer in my hand, and the sunshine on my face, I felt as though I could have been by the lakefront at home. It was somewhat of a surreal moment.

Later we head to the movie theatre to meet up with Brian and Megan to see Ironman 2, have dinner, and go for some casual evening drinks.

What a beautiful day full of interesting people, great conversation, cute lattes, warm sunshine, and stunning flowers.