The Mother Load

Yesterday was a day to cherish mother's, to express to them how much we appreciate what they've done for us, how they have shaped our lives, and how beautiful they are to us.


I am not a mother, technically speaking, however I do happen to have some very little ones who look up to me, and depend on me to console them when they have hurt themselves, or when someone else has hurt them. I often feel sad when they are sad, I am happy when they are happy, and I have shed a tear or two on occasion when a little one hugs me sweetly because he or she can sense that I'm not the happiest of campers. Not to say that I can understand the full extent of emotions that motherhood creates, but I feel as though I have a sense of the feelings that are evoked.


Being so far removed from my family for 14 months has provided me with a chance to reflect on how much they mean to me. I have always found that I appreciate them so much more when they are not present in my life physically, and I suppose it is that way for many things in life. With so many peaks and valleys, and the natural ebb and flow of life it's easy to forget about finding the bright side of things. One thing I have noticed is that with every piece of bad news my family has received, I have found something positive from. Hard times tend to reveal qualities and character that I have yet to uncover in my family, and although the circumstances are not ideal the discovery is a treasure to be held tightly with both hands.


So as it is Mother's Day, the rest of this is all about you mum.


You have given me the ability to laugh, and to not apologize for how loud or ugly it may be. You have been a constant source of support, advice, and wisdom. The patience that you display in every aspect of your life is completely admirable and astounding. You are a child at heart, just like your dad, and I see so much more of him in you as you grow older. I am so proud of you, your courage, your strength, and your exploration. You are an adventure seeker at 59, a lover of massive proportions, and the best hugger in the world. Best of all you have given me the gift of wings. I cannot imagine how hard it is for you as a loving mother to have your baby girl on the other side of the world, but you have given me wings and let me go to live a life of adventure, exploration of both the world and of myself, and to open my eyes to everything that I couldn't at home.


I know the best gift I could give you on Mother's Day would be my presence, but I also know that you would consider my happiness and quest for even truer happiness as an even greater gift. I love you more than I will ever be capable of expressing. Thank you.


엄마 사랑해