Reverb11: Day 20 - Friendship

Friendship - What kind of friend were you in 2011?  What kind of friend do you want to be in 2012?

Absent.  Distant.  Disconnected.  That is the kind of friend I was in 2011.  Firstly, that was due to the fact that I was not in Canada for the first 5 months of 2011.  Backpacking removed me from the internet, which for the previous 2 years was my only mode of connecting with friends.  Secondly, when I got home from being away for so long I threw myself into work, which is absolutely no excuse, but putting so much energy into work made me very lazy in all other aspects of my life.  Having the choice to relax at home in my pj's or go out drinking with friends, I would choose the option with pj's, so although I was back in Canada I was still very much so absent except for special occasions.  


Supportive.  Present.  Connected.  Optimistic.  That is the kind of friend I want to be in 2012.  I know that I need to push myself a little more to go out and be social after working for 10.5 hours being social and giving all of my energy to my yoga students.  I know that I need to be more willing to get off my couch, away from my computer or book or sketchbook, and connect with friends.  


My friends truly mean so much to me.  They are extremely important to me and I most certainly regret being lazy about spending time with them.  So in 2012, I am making a promise not only to them but to myself to stay connected, be present in their lives, be supportive with whatever I can, and bring as much joy and optimism to their lives as i try to bring to my students lives.  

Reverb11: Day 14 - gratitude

Gratitude - What five (5) things are you most grateful for from 2011?

There are truly so many things to be grateful for from 2011.  I had such incredible experiences, met amazing people, reconnected with old friends, started a new career, and so much more.

To pick only 5 things was a difficult task, but a very welcomed task.  It is always so refreshing to think about the wonderful things in my life!

First, I am so amazingly grateful for travel.  The opportunity to see the things I have seen, meet the people I have met, and experience the things I have experienced is truly remarkable.  I could never trade my experiences for any amount of money, or objects.  I wish everyday for another chance in my lifetime to travel again.

Second, I am grateful for yoga.  I am grateful for all that it does for my mind, my body, and my spirit.  It truly is a gift in my life that I hold very close to my heart.  

Third, I am so very grateful for my family and friends.  I have friends all over the world and they are always ready and willing to talk to me whenever we can organize ourselves accordingly.  They are always there to be an ear, or feel comfortable to vent to me their stresses and issues.  Even if we don't see each other for years at a time, we somehow are able to mesh, fit and be together as if we had never been apart.  My family remain patient with my nomadic tendencies, my wild dreams, and impossible hopes.  They are supportive when and where they can be, and sensitively realistic when necessary.  I am so lucky and grateful for each person that has entered my life, and even for those who have left my life.  All people, passersby or constant, have touched my life in a tremendous, unforgettable way.  I have so much love in my life it is just amazing!

Fourth, I am grateful to have a home, a roof over my head.  Far too many people in the world have no home to call their own, and to think of that fact saddens me to my core.  There is no where that I feel more safe, warm, and comfortable than in my own home.  I truly and honestly love traveling, however it is somehow sweeter knowing that whenever I need to I can go home.  For that, I am forever grateful.

Fifth, I am grateful for the outdoors.  There is nothing like nature to soothe my nerves, calm my mind, and please my eyes simultaneously.  I am very fortunate to have walked through many different forests, jungles, mountains, fields, and deserts.  Each landscape has something different to offer, and each one is equally inviting, relaxing, and uplifting.  

Reverb11: Day 8 - elephants and babies and yoga oh my!

Day 8:  Joy - Take us back to a moment this year when you experienced pure, unadulterated joy.

A wash of calm and peace came over me when I read this question.  Thinking about all of the joys in my life, brings a smile to my face, and makes my heart feel lighter.  


I could list a few moments from this year where I felt joy, and last months I wrote about my "joy triggers", but I have to be honest first and say that I am uncertain that I have experienced pure joy.  I certainly have a lot of joy in my life, but as for overwhelming, powerful, profound joy, I have yet to experience.  I don't see that as a bad thing, I see it as a wonderful thing, as it simply means that I have this powerful joy to come, better things are heading my way.  I will continue to experience joy in all of its beauty, in its many different ways, and its many different levels.

In the yoga classes I teach, I always tell my students to open their hearts, open their arms, and open themselves to the gifts that life offers them, and when they do they are then able to receive joy.  Of course along with that, we can receive pain, we can be hurt, but I like to believe that the gift of joy, whenever it does come, far outweighs the hurt caused by opening our hearts.


The journey to being fully able to receive joy is a long one, but it is very worthwhile because we are all worthy of joy, we are all worthy of love, and happiness...our problem is that we don't know how to receive these wonderful gifts.  No matter what the reason is, we all at some point or another tend to be unable to receive compliments, gifts, and affection.  I know that I have been a culprit of this, but thankfully not consistently.   


Most recently, I have become an Auntie for the first time.  Looking at my niece, Rayah, brings me immense joy.  When she smiles at me my heart melts.  

Yoga brings me joy.  Teaching it.  Doing it.  Reading about it.  Writing about it. You name it, if it has to do with yoga and it brings me joy.  


Traveling brings me joy.  Meeting new people.  Going to new places.  Learning new things.  Having new adventures.  It is completely joyous, exciting, and expanding.


If I had to choose 1 moment, which I think is the point of this question, I would have to choose bathing an elephant in Luang Prabang, Laos.  Engaging in something so intimate with this amazing creature, was a true gift.  It was hilarious trying to stay on her back while she rolled around and played in the water.  It was a moment where I was completely present.  I had nothing else on my mind, and was living in the moment.

Reverb11: Day 7 - Gift Giving

Day 7. Part 2:  “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” (David Viscott) 

What is your gift to give?

Days that I'm feeling down it is harder to think of what my gift is.  Today I had a good day, leaving me feeling much better than I have in the last few days, so I felt very able to share my gifts...yes you read that right...giftsssss.


I would like to think that at 27 years of age I still have more gifts to discover, but I have been very fortunate thus far to discover the gifts that I have.  Even more fortunate is that I have had the opportunity to give my gifts to others, share myself with those willing to accept.


I was brought up in a very loving family, and taught to wear my heart on my sleeve.  My big heart is a gift, as much as it does cause me pain at times, it is a wonderful gift to have and a true blessing to share.


I found yoga, or yoga found me, at a time in my life where major changes were occurring.  I always put 110% of myself into things that brings me joy, and true to my character I put everything into my yoga practice.  It lead to me meet some amazing people, go to amazing places, and live some amazing experiences.  Yoga is a gift, and my recognition of that and my passion for it lead me to change careers and become a yoga instructor so that I can share this gift with others.  

Other gifts that I love to share:
- the gift of listening...I have always been told that I am a good listener.
- the gift of laughter...I am certainly no comedian, but I have been known to crack people up on occasion.


"Every little gift you give of yourself has the potential to make a big impact". ~Samin Nosrat

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode?  Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest?  Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts?  Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.

Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.

I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long.  I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold.  Would I find a job?  Would my friendships still be intact?  Would I adjust and be happy?  As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place.  Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined?  Oh hell no!  Is that necessarily a bad thing?  Certainly not.  I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life.   Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here.  I have had a few breakdowns.  Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home.  Second guessed my dreams and desires.  Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends.  Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.

Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have.  I feel very fulfilled at the moment.  I am working hard but having fun in every moment.  I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time.  It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits.  I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.

My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas.  I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions.  I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting.  I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation.  I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.

Self-Kindness Sundays: Week 5 of 20

Legs. They are remarkable. They come in so many different shapes, sizes, colours, abilities.

They all tell different stories.

My legs tell a story of great adventures and misadventures.

They have taken me to new heights.

and new lows.

Through open doors.

and closed ones.

They have carried me to different countries.

and through a half marathon.

My legs allow me to jump and splash in puddles.

and ride bicycles all over the city.

They twist, turn, and bend in every which way.

and help me keep up with my little ones.

They have scars, scrapes, and bruises showing where I've been.

and they inspire me to build dreams of where they'll go.

They glide through water.

Hike up mountains.

Fly through the air.

Descend into valleys.

Climb trees and rocks.

Dance all night.

Play all day.

My legs may not look exactly as I would like them to. They may not even function at the level I want them to. Sometimes I feel pain. My knees aren't good, and my right hip locks often, but they have yet to fail me in reaching a goal, fulfilling a dream.

I love my legs. My legs tell a story. A great one. One that will continue to grow and evolve for as long as my little legs allow me.

And I want to give a HUGE thank you to Sarah for taking the most beautiful pictures she could have given the subject matter ^_^

Is 20 the new magic number?

Once again answering the call of my sistah Sarah, I am joining her in a 20/20 Project. So here's the gist of it, Sarah has started on her quest to lose weight and feel great, dubbing it "20/20 Slim-Down Sundays". Then, Sarah extended out an invite for others to either join her on her Slim-Down Sundays or to create their own 20/20 project.

So I've been thinking a lot about what I could do for my 20/20 project, and quite frankly there are several projects that I want to and should undertake. I realize though, that if I overwhelm myself with too many self improvement projects than I'll probably end up not doing anything. So which one is most important to me to work on first...well after talking to Sarah about this quite a bit, and with "you're far too hard on yourself" ringing in my ears from multiple sources I decided that working on my self esteem and loving myself is paramount in my personal development.

If our thoughts create our reality, then mine is pretty bleak, and I certainly don't want my negative thoughts to become my reality.

So what do I do, where do I go from here?

Introducing a spin-off from Sarah's suggestion of "20 things you love about yourself"..."Self-Kindness Sundays". From my interpretation, Sarah intended for these projects to be a challenge, and a challenge this is! Like many people I find it hard to be nice to myself, but I'd venture to say that I am self hating. I don't just pick on myself, I beat myself up, rip myself apart, and cause immense amounts of stress (I should insert here, needlessly).

I also want to add being healthier to my quest of being kind to myself. I want to feel like Wonder Woman on my best AND worst days.

So here it is, for "Self-Kindness Sundays" I will:

• list one thing a week for 20 weeks that I LOVE about myself. I'm going to really think, really listen to myself, work on things that I don't love about myself and hopefully add them to the list of things I do love along the way.
• I will commit to scheduled, organized, workouts at least 3 times a week. I will be honest if I miss one...or two, and I will share what I'm doing and how its making me feel inside and out.

So as for the exercise, I start Hot Yoga tomorrow. It is something I did when I was at home and moving to Korea I was unable to find a place until now. It made me feel the best I've ever felt physically, and mentally, so it's the perfect fitness class for me to take in the context of this project.

And as for the first thing I love about myself...well check out the official Week 1 post!!

Thanks for the inspiration and insight Sarah. You are a remarkable woman, mother, sister, sistah, friend, teacher, writer, photographer, artist...etc.!!! I can't wait to see you at the end of the 20 weeks...how could you get any hotter? let's get real!

FIGHTING!!!!