Reverb11: Day 8 - elephants and babies and yoga oh my!

Day 8:  Joy - Take us back to a moment this year when you experienced pure, unadulterated joy.

A wash of calm and peace came over me when I read this question.  Thinking about all of the joys in my life, brings a smile to my face, and makes my heart feel lighter.  


I could list a few moments from this year where I felt joy, and last months I wrote about my "joy triggers", but I have to be honest first and say that I am uncertain that I have experienced pure joy.  I certainly have a lot of joy in my life, but as for overwhelming, powerful, profound joy, I have yet to experience.  I don't see that as a bad thing, I see it as a wonderful thing, as it simply means that I have this powerful joy to come, better things are heading my way.  I will continue to experience joy in all of its beauty, in its many different ways, and its many different levels.

In the yoga classes I teach, I always tell my students to open their hearts, open their arms, and open themselves to the gifts that life offers them, and when they do they are then able to receive joy.  Of course along with that, we can receive pain, we can be hurt, but I like to believe that the gift of joy, whenever it does come, far outweighs the hurt caused by opening our hearts.


The journey to being fully able to receive joy is a long one, but it is very worthwhile because we are all worthy of joy, we are all worthy of love, and happiness...our problem is that we don't know how to receive these wonderful gifts.  No matter what the reason is, we all at some point or another tend to be unable to receive compliments, gifts, and affection.  I know that I have been a culprit of this, but thankfully not consistently.   


Most recently, I have become an Auntie for the first time.  Looking at my niece, Rayah, brings me immense joy.  When she smiles at me my heart melts.  

Yoga brings me joy.  Teaching it.  Doing it.  Reading about it.  Writing about it. You name it, if it has to do with yoga and it brings me joy.  


Traveling brings me joy.  Meeting new people.  Going to new places.  Learning new things.  Having new adventures.  It is completely joyous, exciting, and expanding.


If I had to choose 1 moment, which I think is the point of this question, I would have to choose bathing an elephant in Luang Prabang, Laos.  Engaging in something so intimate with this amazing creature, was a true gift.  It was hilarious trying to stay on her back while she rolled around and played in the water.  It was a moment where I was completely present.  I had nothing else on my mind, and was living in the moment.

Reverb11: Day 5

Day 5: 5 Things - Describe 5 guilty pleasures.

I feel as though we should never feel guilty for doing something that brings us pleasure.  Unless, of course, it at the same time is harming another person, in that case there should definitely be some guilt involved.

I can proudly say, with my head held high, that none of my guilty pleasures can harm another person.

I love being barefoot so I try to draw out sandal usage as much as possible.  To do so, I tend to wear socks with my sandals, which according to the fashion police is a HUGE faux pas.  I'm guilty of this deep deep pleasure of wearing socks with my Birkenstocks...and I will never give it up!

I dislike Christmas.  Not to be a scrooge, but it is not my favourite holiday. To start I'm not really a winter person, as much as i enjoy snowboarding and other winter sports I do wish the snow was just on the trees, hills and mountains.  Aside from that, I also seem to have bad things happen around the Christmas seasons...death, accident, broken heart, you name it, it has happened around Christmas time.  But one Christmas related guilty pleasure if Mariah Carey's Christmas cd...I know I know, but it just reminds me of a time that Christmas wasn't riddled with negativity.

CHOCOLATE.  Enough said.

Shopping for myself.  I absolutely love giving gifts to others and never regret a purchase when it's for someone else, but for myself I have buyers remorse almost immediately every time!  Even though buying myself a new pair of pants that shows off my great bum brings me joy, I still feel guilty about spending the money on myself.

Having no censor.  I say what is on my mind, no censor, no holding back.  I love my honesty, my openness, but often suffer for it.  For example, being too honest and upfront with feelings leads to a man freaking out and running for the hills.  So although I don't want to ever apologize for, regret, or resent my honesty, I often do.


I wish to get to a place where I don't feel guilt for doing something harmless that brings me joy.  I hope to one day find a person that can handle my honesty, that will love and appreciate my honesty, that will not pretend to be happy with that trait but then turn around and run.   

Reverb11: Day 3

Almost caught up now!

Day 3: A Moment in Time - Tell us about one moment that you lived in 2011 that you will never forget.

This is the most difficult question I think I have ever been asked, and feel impossible to even attempt to answer.  

Some of the most unforgettable moments would be:

-Swimming in the holy Ganga River in India. (very close to the source so still clean!)

-Hiking in Sapa, Vietnam and staying for a night in the home of a Black Hmong tribe family.

-Taking a boat out to the middle of the ocean to surf in Lombok, Indonesia.

-Bathing an elephant, and playing with her in the water in Luang Prabang, Laos.

-Seeing my family and friends after such a long time away.

-The birth of my niece.

There are so many more amazing moments from 2011 that I will never forget, they are forever etched in my soul.

Find your joy!

Being a yoga teacher, I am constantly reading books and articles on being present in life, opening your heart, awakening dormant energies in our bodies, and other such things that will help improve my yoga practice and ultimately my life.  Things that I can therefore carry with me to my classes and pass on to my students.

One thing that I often say in class is "find your joy!", usually set in the context of holding Warrior 2 for five long breathes and I try to encourage my students to focus on something other than the burn so they don't kill me.  This theme is something that, although I say it to kill the silence and distract students from their burning muscles, is also meant to plant a seed in those receptive minds, that they can use in their yoga practice, but can also carry it through to their life off their yoga mat.

As Canadians, we often lose sight of our joy, the things in life that cultivate happiness and bliss.  Generally speaking, we don't lose our joy due to poverty, famine, civil wars, lack of education, and therefore lack of job prospects.  Typically, we lose our joy due to trying to keep up with the jones', and therefore overworking in jobs we dislike, commuting long distances to get to those jobs, buying homes that put us in economic strain, eating "quick" food due to lack of time to prepare healthy meals, putting on excessive amounts of weight, spending our hard earned money on crazy quick fix schemes to lose that weight, and ultimately being "required" to work even more at the job we hate just to keep the deadly and unhappy cycle going.  It is an exhausting life if we let it be, and honestly after living in Asia and traveling in all of the countries I have, I see that in most cases even those who are faced with truly difficult living conditions and circumstances still have joy, and happiness, and generally on a more consistent basis than we do in our comparatively comfortable lives.  They know how to find their joy.  They make time for those things, and keep everything in perspective.

I am not at all an expert on joy, I would love to be one, but I don't think that they actually exist.  All I can do is draw upon things I read, feel, and experience and hope that I can develop a strong understanding of how to find joy, and then the even harder task, how to keep that joy coming on a consistent basis.

I have been trying to cultivate a life for myself where I consistently have joy.  It is certainly more difficult since having come back from Asia, and I have run off the track a few times since coming home in May, but after having read my dear friend Mary's blog post the other day about "joy triggers", I decided to put it all out there, following suit with Mary, and answering her question:     

"What things bring me joy?"

Yoga...quite simply any one yoga posture will instantly brighten my day...standing on my head, a backbend of any kind, opening my heart, and smiling while doing it!

Having a bath while listening to music and singing with the wonderful acoustics of the bathroom.

Watching inspiring talks on TED and feeling uplifted, hopeful, understood, and an overwhelming warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart.

Hugging and loving my precious niece Rayah.

Writing, whether I ever publish it in a blog post or a book doesn't matter, what matters is that I get it out of my heart and head and into the universe.

Tattoos, examining my existing ones, dreaming up new ones, and seeing them turn into reality...once the funds are available of course.

Having a giant cup of green tea in a colourful mug with a good friend, a good book, a good movie, good music, and/or a comfy blanket.

Visiting with my nanny(grandma) who has Alzheimer's, and answering her question, "do you have a boyfriend yet?!" differently every time she asks...which is generally every 5 minutes. (Some people may think of this as mean, but it makes me giggle, doesn't harm her, and is certainly better than the alternative of repeating myself a hundred times and getting irritated and my nanny ultimately sensing that irritation.

hiking, walking, biking...anything that takes me outside where the fresh air can touch my cheeks the way it feels when a hand gently caresses my cheek before a kiss.

Chocolate...dark, milk, white, with nuts, raisins, granola, caramel...doesn't matter in what form or combination, chocolate just does it for me!

Hannah, my cat, when she comes running to the door to greet me, when she rubs her head against mine (ps. she's doing this as I write!), and when she gives me little sandpaper kisses.

Watching a breathtaking sunset.

Looking at a plant and remembering its botanical(latin) name and english name after three years of being out of that field.

Sleeping in...which is rare, but when it happens oh god let the joy flow!

Taking pictures of anything, namely plants, animals, children, and elderly people...anything is life, or colour, or that tells a story.

Four dollar martinis on a Friday night.

Wearing dresses...they're so flowy and free!

and numerous other little things...

This concept of identifying those small, seemingly unimportant things that bring joy to my life, is a tricky one...probably trickier for some...but still tricky for me, a self-aware yoga teacher who teaches others to find their joy in their practice and in their life!  Give it a try, you don't need to share it with others, just share it with yourself!

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode?  Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest?  Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts?  Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.

Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.

I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long.  I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold.  Would I find a job?  Would my friendships still be intact?  Would I adjust and be happy?  As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place.  Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined?  Oh hell no!  Is that necessarily a bad thing?  Certainly not.  I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life.   Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here.  I have had a few breakdowns.  Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home.  Second guessed my dreams and desires.  Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends.  Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.

Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have.  I feel very fulfilled at the moment.  I am working hard but having fun in every moment.  I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time.  It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits.  I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.

My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas.  I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions.  I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting.  I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation.  I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.