Reverb11: Day 15 - the unexpected teacher

Teaching Moment - Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places.  Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?

We certainly do find teachers in the most unexpected places.  This may sound ignorant, but I never thought that I would consider a person with little to no education as a teacher.  However, late in 2010 I met a person who very quickly became a teacher to me in so many ways, which continued long into 2011.  

When describing him to people I would often say that he was incredibly wise, peaceful, and happy.  That although he was younger than myself and has little education, that he taught me a great deal about myself, about love, and about life.  

This person is Hermansah.  The man I met and fell instantly in love with while traveling in Indonesia.  I had never experienced this before.  Never felt instantly connected to another person.  Never felt drawn to another person despite my better judgement.  But there I was, falling in love at first sight with a man three years my junior, whose home is quite literally on the other side of the world to my home, who has no formal education past high school, who has a job that pays him the equivalent of $80 a month, and who has never left his small island.

There were so many impossibilities right from the start.  

But there was no way to turn away from this love without giving it a fair shot.

We were together for an amazing month from the start, and me being as honest as usual about my apprehension about our relationship, he quickly put my worries to rest saying, "follow your heart".

I left Indonesia to continue my travels as planned.  While traveling I grew to know very quickly that my heart was still in Indonesia despite my body and my mind being in whatever country I was in at that moment.  With my strict budget, there was no room for doubling back to a country I had already been to and that required a flight, but in keeping with Hermansah's teachings I threw caution to the wind, "followed my heart", and said a big old Eff You to my budget, spontaneously booking a flight back to Indonesia. 


We spent last Christmas and New Years together, and decided we didn't want to be apart again so we decided to travel together, Hermansah leaving his country for the first time.


We traveled through Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand together before parting ways once again where I went to India for 3 months, and Hermansah went back home to Indonesia.


While apart we spoke over the phone as much as humanly possible, sending messages on facebook as often as we could, and sending our love across the ocean.


I had planned to go back to Indonesia after India, but while in India I got some big news...my big sister was pregnant.  It honestly was bittersweet.  On one side I was so happy for her, and excited to finally become an aunt (it was a long time coming), but on the other side it meant that I would need to go home to Canada and hold off on Indonesia.  


Having been away from Canada for 2 years already at that point, I made the difficult decision to head home, arriving back in Canada in May 2011.  Once home Hermansah and I continued skyping and messaging on facebook whenever possible, and we began the long process to get a tourist visa for him to come visit Canada and meet my family.  We finally heard back from the Canadian Embassy in September.  Hermansah was declined his tourist visa.  We were both devastated, disappointed, and defeated.  Initially, I began getting things organized to reapply.  I purchased land in Indonesia so that he would have more "ties" to his country.  He enrolled in school for a 2012 start to add another reason why he would need to go back to Indonesia since the Canadian government doesn't deem family as reason enough.  


Soon I started to grow very stressed and tired with the whole process.  I started to realize that if it was this difficult to get him a tourist visa, imagine the difficulty in getting a resident visa if thats what we wanted to do down the road.  After my niece, Rayah, was born on September 23rd, I fell in love with her at first sight.  For the second time in my life, I felt instantly connected to another being, albeit in a much different way than with Hermansah, but nonetheless it was there.  


I realized even more at this point that it was unlikely I would relocate permanently to Indonesia.  I knew I would definitely be up to living abroad again for a year or two, but not likely permanently.  This lead me to a very heartbreaking decision.  One which I will perhaps never know if it was the "right" decision, but one that needed to be made at that moment.  We still speak occasionally, I still think of him, I still miss his presence in my life, but all i can do at this point is focus on my present moment and not worry about the past or the future for that matter.

In our 11 month relationship, Hermansah never stopped teaching me.  The biggest lesson was that he taught me to love wholeheartedly, without discrimination, without investigation.  He taught we to not dwell on the past, just keep moving forward, following my heart at all times and with every action.  Hermansah taught me to be patient with myself, and others.  He taught me to be patient with life.  I had never met anyone who could calm me when stressed with so little as a smile and a gentle touch.  Hermansah taught me to cherish my family.  His respect and love for his mother bringing him into this world especially amazed me.  His simultaneous strength and sensitivity showed me that I too can be strong despite my very active tear ducts.  I can't even put into words how much this one man taught me.  I will forever cherish our story close to my heart. 

Aku Cinta Kamu Selalu

Cambodia: Touching hearts

December 17th, 2010

It is my last day at Self Help Community Centre.  I’m sitting in Classroom “D”, one of the five classrooms at the Centre.  I have been here for only one week but I already feel attached to it, well I suppose mostly to the people within it. 

Self Help Community Centre is a learning centre in a small village about 2 kilometres outside of the city centre of Siem Reap.  It was established by Sambath 3 years ago, now 25 years old, who had come back to his village after finishing university and wanted to do something to help his village.  The centre offers free education and social services to Cambodians.  It is run entirely by volunteers, both Cambodian and foreign.  As with everything, especially in Southeast Asia, things aren’t so organized or efficient, things could run a lot smoother and clearer, and things could be much better in general, but despite all of that it gets the job done and it’s a place full of smiles.

       

I was lucky (and a little unlucky) to be there for their 3 year anniversary.  Lucky because I got to celebrate with everyone whose lives are touched by SHCC, join in on decorating the classrooms, and help out in preparations for a fundraiser.  Unlucky because it meant that the normal scheduling was in complete disarray and no one knew their own name half the time, so I feel like had I been there during a normal time I could have been more useful in terms of teaching and everything within its scope.  However, it was just not meant to be, I was meant to keep the kids safe and happy while people were running around like chickens with their heads cut off preparing for the big event at the end of the week.

When the day everyone had been anticipating for a solid month finally rolled along, things went off a lot smoother than all of us thought (us being the western volunteers).  The handmade decorations were bright and cheery, adding the necessary punch of colour to the white and brown walls of the kinder classrooms.  Children were playing games in every room and spilling outside of the classrooms.  The stage set up on the dirt field where the students usually have their gym class was manned by two of the Cambodian volunteer teachers acting as the MC’s for the festivities.  At all times the stage was full of students and volunteers singing, playing games, or having competitions.  The field in front of the stage had a great audience cheering on their peers and teachers, and dancing during breaks in competitions.  There was face painting and balloons flying everywhere.

                  

      

The days leading up to the party a team of volunteers from Singapore had been teaching the Waka Waka dance (by Shakira) to whomever wanted to learn (which of course also meant me).  It was a really fun and interactive activity for the kids, who all seemed to really enjoy it, and we even had a night practice back at Mary’s house (who we were all staying with).  On the day of the party, the group of volunteers from Singapore, myself, some of the Cambodian volunteers, and of course the students performed the dance in front of the stage.  It was such a hit that it was also performed not once, but twice, at the fundraising event that followed two days later.

The day of the fundraiser and my last day is today.  It’s pretty hectic around here, we’re frantically making crafts with the kids to sell tonight.  We’re all heading into the city centre around 5 o’clock, we’re holding the fundraiser at Jasmine Lodge, the alternative place to stay while volunteering at SHCC if you don’t want to stay with a family in the village.  So far I am really enjoying today, showing the students how to do some crafts, and them showing us how to do some (that in many cases are far better than ours…or mine at least), watching their creative juices flow and their smiles grow after completing their craft…truly beautiful.

   

People say that volunteers touch the hearts of those they help, speak to, play with, and teach, but the thing I’ve learned while volunteering in each country that I have is that it is my heart that is touched by children, my heart that is forever changed by the other volunteers, and my heart that is filled with so much joy from all the smiling faces and toothy grins I receive.  So thank you SHCC for allowing me to be a part of your team, it was a blessing.