Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode? Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest? Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts? Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.
Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.
I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long. I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold. Would I find a job? Would my friendships still be intact? Would I adjust and be happy? As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place. Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined? Oh hell no! Is that necessarily a bad thing? Certainly not. I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life. Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here. I have had a few breakdowns. Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home. Second guessed my dreams and desires. Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends. Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.
Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have. I feel very fulfilled at the moment. I am working hard but having fun in every moment. I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time. It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits. I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.
My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas. I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions. I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting. I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation. I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.
