Reverb11: Day 14 - gratitude

Gratitude - What five (5) things are you most grateful for from 2011?

There are truly so many things to be grateful for from 2011.  I had such incredible experiences, met amazing people, reconnected with old friends, started a new career, and so much more.

To pick only 5 things was a difficult task, but a very welcomed task.  It is always so refreshing to think about the wonderful things in my life!

First, I am so amazingly grateful for travel.  The opportunity to see the things I have seen, meet the people I have met, and experience the things I have experienced is truly remarkable.  I could never trade my experiences for any amount of money, or objects.  I wish everyday for another chance in my lifetime to travel again.

Second, I am grateful for yoga.  I am grateful for all that it does for my mind, my body, and my spirit.  It truly is a gift in my life that I hold very close to my heart.  

Third, I am so very grateful for my family and friends.  I have friends all over the world and they are always ready and willing to talk to me whenever we can organize ourselves accordingly.  They are always there to be an ear, or feel comfortable to vent to me their stresses and issues.  Even if we don't see each other for years at a time, we somehow are able to mesh, fit and be together as if we had never been apart.  My family remain patient with my nomadic tendencies, my wild dreams, and impossible hopes.  They are supportive when and where they can be, and sensitively realistic when necessary.  I am so lucky and grateful for each person that has entered my life, and even for those who have left my life.  All people, passersby or constant, have touched my life in a tremendous, unforgettable way.  I have so much love in my life it is just amazing!

Fourth, I am grateful to have a home, a roof over my head.  Far too many people in the world have no home to call their own, and to think of that fact saddens me to my core.  There is no where that I feel more safe, warm, and comfortable than in my own home.  I truly and honestly love traveling, however it is somehow sweeter knowing that whenever I need to I can go home.  For that, I am forever grateful.

Fifth, I am grateful for the outdoors.  There is nothing like nature to soothe my nerves, calm my mind, and please my eyes simultaneously.  I am very fortunate to have walked through many different forests, jungles, mountains, fields, and deserts.  Each landscape has something different to offer, and each one is equally inviting, relaxing, and uplifting.  

Reverb11: Day 11 - think less. do more.

Day 11: What do you wish you had done more of in 2011?

Anticipation - What is the one thing that you are most looking forward to in 2012?

I wish I had done more of many things in 2011.  After having seeing a girlfriend last night that I haven't seen in far too long, I realized that I wish I had seen my friends more often in 2011.  


I arrived home in May of this year, and started seeing my friends on a pretty regular basis, but then I started working and using that as an excuse to not go out, to be lazy, and to neglect the things in my life that truly make me happy.


Having said that, the one thing I am most looking forward to in 2012 is making time to see my friends, and spending more time with family.  No excuses, no laziness.  Thinking less and doing more. 

Thankful Thursdays V.3

I had a bad weekend.  


I received some rejection.


I was hurt.


I was confused.


I was surprised.


I was side-blinded.


My friends and family have rallied around me.


They have tried to heal my pain.


They have kept me busy.


They have made me laugh.


They have lifted me up.


They have reminded me that I am enough. 


That I am worthy of happiness, respect, caring, and love.


I am so very grateful for my friends, and my family.  I am ridiculously lucky to have so many people in my life that care for me, root for me, and send me love whenever I am in need.

Thank you!

Find your joy!

Being a yoga teacher, I am constantly reading books and articles on being present in life, opening your heart, awakening dormant energies in our bodies, and other such things that will help improve my yoga practice and ultimately my life.  Things that I can therefore carry with me to my classes and pass on to my students.

One thing that I often say in class is "find your joy!", usually set in the context of holding Warrior 2 for five long breathes and I try to encourage my students to focus on something other than the burn so they don't kill me.  This theme is something that, although I say it to kill the silence and distract students from their burning muscles, is also meant to plant a seed in those receptive minds, that they can use in their yoga practice, but can also carry it through to their life off their yoga mat.

As Canadians, we often lose sight of our joy, the things in life that cultivate happiness and bliss.  Generally speaking, we don't lose our joy due to poverty, famine, civil wars, lack of education, and therefore lack of job prospects.  Typically, we lose our joy due to trying to keep up with the jones', and therefore overworking in jobs we dislike, commuting long distances to get to those jobs, buying homes that put us in economic strain, eating "quick" food due to lack of time to prepare healthy meals, putting on excessive amounts of weight, spending our hard earned money on crazy quick fix schemes to lose that weight, and ultimately being "required" to work even more at the job we hate just to keep the deadly and unhappy cycle going.  It is an exhausting life if we let it be, and honestly after living in Asia and traveling in all of the countries I have, I see that in most cases even those who are faced with truly difficult living conditions and circumstances still have joy, and happiness, and generally on a more consistent basis than we do in our comparatively comfortable lives.  They know how to find their joy.  They make time for those things, and keep everything in perspective.

I am not at all an expert on joy, I would love to be one, but I don't think that they actually exist.  All I can do is draw upon things I read, feel, and experience and hope that I can develop a strong understanding of how to find joy, and then the even harder task, how to keep that joy coming on a consistent basis.

I have been trying to cultivate a life for myself where I consistently have joy.  It is certainly more difficult since having come back from Asia, and I have run off the track a few times since coming home in May, but after having read my dear friend Mary's blog post the other day about "joy triggers", I decided to put it all out there, following suit with Mary, and answering her question:     

"What things bring me joy?"

Yoga...quite simply any one yoga posture will instantly brighten my day...standing on my head, a backbend of any kind, opening my heart, and smiling while doing it!

Having a bath while listening to music and singing with the wonderful acoustics of the bathroom.

Watching inspiring talks on TED and feeling uplifted, hopeful, understood, and an overwhelming warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart.

Hugging and loving my precious niece Rayah.

Writing, whether I ever publish it in a blog post or a book doesn't matter, what matters is that I get it out of my heart and head and into the universe.

Tattoos, examining my existing ones, dreaming up new ones, and seeing them turn into reality...once the funds are available of course.

Having a giant cup of green tea in a colourful mug with a good friend, a good book, a good movie, good music, and/or a comfy blanket.

Visiting with my nanny(grandma) who has Alzheimer's, and answering her question, "do you have a boyfriend yet?!" differently every time she asks...which is generally every 5 minutes. (Some people may think of this as mean, but it makes me giggle, doesn't harm her, and is certainly better than the alternative of repeating myself a hundred times and getting irritated and my nanny ultimately sensing that irritation.

hiking, walking, biking...anything that takes me outside where the fresh air can touch my cheeks the way it feels when a hand gently caresses my cheek before a kiss.

Chocolate...dark, milk, white, with nuts, raisins, granola, caramel...doesn't matter in what form or combination, chocolate just does it for me!

Hannah, my cat, when she comes running to the door to greet me, when she rubs her head against mine (ps. she's doing this as I write!), and when she gives me little sandpaper kisses.

Watching a breathtaking sunset.

Looking at a plant and remembering its botanical(latin) name and english name after three years of being out of that field.

Sleeping in...which is rare, but when it happens oh god let the joy flow!

Taking pictures of anything, namely plants, animals, children, and elderly people...anything is life, or colour, or that tells a story.

Four dollar martinis on a Friday night.

Wearing dresses...they're so flowy and free!

and numerous other little things...

This concept of identifying those small, seemingly unimportant things that bring joy to my life, is a tricky one...probably trickier for some...but still tricky for me, a self-aware yoga teacher who teaches others to find their joy in their practice and in their life!  Give it a try, you don't need to share it with others, just share it with yourself!

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your brain was going to explode?  Like your heart was going to bust out of your chest?  Like you couldn't move fast enough to keep up with the speed of your thoughts?  Although they sound like they could be not-so-pleasant feelings to have, and at times they certainly aren't, all of these feelings at this present moment are coming from a very positive place.

Lately, I have found myself filled with happiness, energy, inspiration, creativity, and anticipation, which are completely surprising and welcome feelings.

I felt a lot of anxiety about heading back to Canada after being away for so long.  I worried about what the next chapter in my life would hold.  Would I find a job?  Would my friendships still be intact?  Would I adjust and be happy?  As difficult a transition as it has been for me coming back to Canada, I am also pleasantly surprised at how everything has fallen into place.  Have things fallen into place the way I had imagined?  Oh hell no!  Is that necessarily a bad thing?  Certainly not.  I would actually say that I am blissfully joyful at the opportunities that have appeared, the choices I have made, and the people that have remained in my life.   Of course things haven't been peachy keen one hundred percent of the time, let's not be unrealistic here.  I have had a few breakdowns.  Looked up flights to Indonesia on a daily basis for the first month I was home.  Second guessed my dreams and desires.  Questioned my place and role in my family and with my friends.  Let's just say it has been a tough adjustment period, and to be honest it is still somewhat of a struggle at times.

Despite all of my anxieties and fears about coming home, I feel as though my world has opened up with all of these opportunities I never imagined I'd have.  I feel very fulfilled at the moment.  I am working hard but having fun in every moment.  I am working full time at a Hot Yoga Studio, teaching around 11 classes a week and working the desk the rest of the time.  It is an amazing environment, full of different energies and personalities, full of beautiful people and spirits.  I work in the mornings and the evenings, having afternoons off, which is a delightful change to the 9-5 grind I had assumed I'd be entering upon coming home.

My afternoons are full of dreams, thoughts, and ideas.  I'm facing the task right now of grabbing the bull by the horns and making some of those dreams, thoughts, and ideas into realities, plans, and actions.  I'm obsessed with my ideas, researching, reading, planning, and plotting.  I am bursting at the seams with information, inspiration, and motivation.  I am so excited at this influx of creative energy that I'm freaking myself out a little bit.

Why I love Toronto or 13 Reasons Toronto Makes Me Smile.

I have come to Canada for a quick visit after 19 months in South Korea.  I'm only here for 3 weeks, visiting with family and friends, renewing my passport, sorting out finances, and generally preparing for my 6 month solo backpacking trip in Southeast Asia.  Last week I went to Toronto for the day to catch up with Sarah, Jinu, and Mary.  While waiting for Sarah and Jinu I had the chance to stroll around the city and soak it all in.  I realized that whenever I stick around Canada for an extended length of time again (sorry mum), I'd love to live in Toronto.

1.  Buildings that touch the clouds AND reflect them.

2.  Interesting artwork dots the streets.

3.  Very Canadian-esque named pubs, proudly displaying our flag and giant moose heads.

4.  Street cleaners doing donuts...just because they can.

5.  The old with the new.

6.  Mini lakes surrounded by trees in the middle of the city.

7.  British inspired pubs...telephone booths and all.

8.  Opportunities for self portraits literally everywhere.

9.  Cute scooters outside of every office building.

10.  Pocket parks dotted throughout the city.

11.  Delicious street meat on every corner.

12.  KOREA TOWN!!!  Korean food, Korean people, Korean everything!

13.  Reunions with old friends (and sweet sweet little ones) over delicious food and drinks.

The loveliest of lovelies

My dad is the loveliest of lovelies!

Truly, honestly, completely the loveliest man I know.

My dad is a man of few words, but those few words are ones you want to hear, and truly listen to.

He is both a solid rock, of which you can always rely on, lean on, and depend on to stay in one piece; and a plush teddy bear, of which you can give and receive giant bear hugs, great long cuddles, and depend on to make you smile.

He is gentle, a big softy really.

He is generous of his time and wisdom.

He is the hardest working man I have ever known and probably will ever know.

He is a badass with a tattoo on his shoulder to prove it (even if it is a heart made of mine and my sisters initials).

He is a remarkable role model.

He is a lover of the outdoors; flowers, trees, lakes, and oceans calm him.

He enjoys the simple things in life. Family, food, and relaxing on the deck up north or in the backyard at home.

My dad is the kindest of the kind, the dorkiest of dorks, the cutest of the cute, the cuddliest of the cuddly, and just simply the loveliest of lovelies.

Happy Father's Day daddy.

I love you bery bery muchy (as my Korean kids would say!)

Is 20 the new magic number?

Once again answering the call of my sistah Sarah, I am joining her in a 20/20 Project. So here's the gist of it, Sarah has started on her quest to lose weight and feel great, dubbing it "20/20 Slim-Down Sundays". Then, Sarah extended out an invite for others to either join her on her Slim-Down Sundays or to create their own 20/20 project.

So I've been thinking a lot about what I could do for my 20/20 project, and quite frankly there are several projects that I want to and should undertake. I realize though, that if I overwhelm myself with too many self improvement projects than I'll probably end up not doing anything. So which one is most important to me to work on first...well after talking to Sarah about this quite a bit, and with "you're far too hard on yourself" ringing in my ears from multiple sources I decided that working on my self esteem and loving myself is paramount in my personal development.

If our thoughts create our reality, then mine is pretty bleak, and I certainly don't want my negative thoughts to become my reality.

So what do I do, where do I go from here?

Introducing a spin-off from Sarah's suggestion of "20 things you love about yourself"..."Self-Kindness Sundays". From my interpretation, Sarah intended for these projects to be a challenge, and a challenge this is! Like many people I find it hard to be nice to myself, but I'd venture to say that I am self hating. I don't just pick on myself, I beat myself up, rip myself apart, and cause immense amounts of stress (I should insert here, needlessly).

I also want to add being healthier to my quest of being kind to myself. I want to feel like Wonder Woman on my best AND worst days.

So here it is, for "Self-Kindness Sundays" I will:

• list one thing a week for 20 weeks that I LOVE about myself. I'm going to really think, really listen to myself, work on things that I don't love about myself and hopefully add them to the list of things I do love along the way.
• I will commit to scheduled, organized, workouts at least 3 times a week. I will be honest if I miss one...or two, and I will share what I'm doing and how its making me feel inside and out.

So as for the exercise, I start Hot Yoga tomorrow. It is something I did when I was at home and moving to Korea I was unable to find a place until now. It made me feel the best I've ever felt physically, and mentally, so it's the perfect fitness class for me to take in the context of this project.

And as for the first thing I love about myself...well check out the official Week 1 post!!

Thanks for the inspiration and insight Sarah. You are a remarkable woman, mother, sister, sistah, friend, teacher, writer, photographer, artist...etc.!!! I can't wait to see you at the end of the 20 weeks...how could you get any hotter? let's get real!

FIGHTING!!!!

The Mother Load

Yesterday was a day to cherish mother's, to express to them how much we appreciate what they've done for us, how they have shaped our lives, and how beautiful they are to us.


I am not a mother, technically speaking, however I do happen to have some very little ones who look up to me, and depend on me to console them when they have hurt themselves, or when someone else has hurt them. I often feel sad when they are sad, I am happy when they are happy, and I have shed a tear or two on occasion when a little one hugs me sweetly because he or she can sense that I'm not the happiest of campers. Not to say that I can understand the full extent of emotions that motherhood creates, but I feel as though I have a sense of the feelings that are evoked.


Being so far removed from my family for 14 months has provided me with a chance to reflect on how much they mean to me. I have always found that I appreciate them so much more when they are not present in my life physically, and I suppose it is that way for many things in life. With so many peaks and valleys, and the natural ebb and flow of life it's easy to forget about finding the bright side of things. One thing I have noticed is that with every piece of bad news my family has received, I have found something positive from. Hard times tend to reveal qualities and character that I have yet to uncover in my family, and although the circumstances are not ideal the discovery is a treasure to be held tightly with both hands.


So as it is Mother's Day, the rest of this is all about you mum.


You have given me the ability to laugh, and to not apologize for how loud or ugly it may be. You have been a constant source of support, advice, and wisdom. The patience that you display in every aspect of your life is completely admirable and astounding. You are a child at heart, just like your dad, and I see so much more of him in you as you grow older. I am so proud of you, your courage, your strength, and your exploration. You are an adventure seeker at 59, a lover of massive proportions, and the best hugger in the world. Best of all you have given me the gift of wings. I cannot imagine how hard it is for you as a loving mother to have your baby girl on the other side of the world, but you have given me wings and let me go to live a life of adventure, exploration of both the world and of myself, and to open my eyes to everything that I couldn't at home.


I know the best gift I could give you on Mother's Day would be my presence, but I also know that you would consider my happiness and quest for even truer happiness as an even greater gift. I love you more than I will ever be capable of expressing. Thank you.


엄마 사랑해

Questions and answers

My sisters of spirit, Mary and Sarah, have started an outstanding creative project that has been opening my mind, heart and mouth. They are sharing their beautiful minds, and talents every week in A Perspective Project. Each week they have opposing pictures, whose inspiration is uniquely interpreted from two opposing words. Last week the theme was Order and Chaos, and it struck me on a deeply personal level.

Mary asked the question, "how does chaos creep into your life and what affect does it have on you?"

Well Mary, you asked so I shall answer.

Chaos creeps into every single aspect of my life and to be honest I enjoy it most of the time. The kind of chaos that leads you to a waterfall on the top of a mountain,

or the kind that pushes you to get the alone time you need and desire, but haven't had the balls to take for yourself, that leads you to explore a new nook or cranny, or a new angle or lighting for a photo.

Chaos is a sneaky bugger and for me, when things seem to be going great that's when it usually gets me. Like when my ducks are lining up in a neat and tidy row, or I find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, a wolf comes along and chows down on my neat and tidy ducks, and a flash flood grabs the pot of gold with its grubby mitts and runs off into the sunset. Okay, so it's not all that bad, but I had to paint the picture more dramatically...for effect you see.

I'm sure that many people in my age group experience some social pressures, whether they are from family, friends, or society. The pressure and expectation of having a distinct career path, being well on the way to having a house, fancy car, lifelong partner, and being the proud owner of at least half of the millions of gadgets and gidgets available on the market today. And it's that push to conform to social norms and expectations that drives me to love and adore being disorderly in some aspects of my life. I don't want whoozits and whatzits galore; I want memories and experiences aplenty...that in my experience thus far do not present themselves in an entirely orderly and organized life.

Like I said, for the most part I enjoy the presence of Chaos in my life. However, I do despise it pushing its way in through the thing I care about above all else...family. I don't touch your family; I don't toy with their health and emotions, so Chaos I ask you, why do you play with mine? This is between you and me, so leave my family out of it. I suppose I can't put all the blame on you, but please throw us a bone once in a while.

Seriously though, I handle Chaos with regards to my family by expressing my love for them at every chance I get, and trying to remain clear headed and rational, which can sometimes be extremely difficult yet for me is necessary. I like to think that all other kinds of chaos in my life I deal with in such a way that I grab it by the horns, ride the wave, look for the rainbow, and allow myself to often have a bit of mud on the brain. I like to let it take me where it pleases, even if it means getting hurt along the way.

I see chaos as a driving factor in my life these days, leading me out of one chapter and into the next, usually whether I think I'm finished with the last chapter or not.

It's an adventure of epic proportions, it's an exploration of self, others, and far away places. Most of all it's a test of strength and character, will and fear, love and hope, laughter and tears, and of life.

"Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth."

~ Tom Barrett

Dear Blair

So it's your birthday, and it's the second one in a row that I've missed. So to make up for it I had my little ones sing a little song for you...cause no one can be angry when looking at these faces, but you could certainly be angry looking at my ginger face! It was chaos trying to get the little munchkins to sit still and sing, so I did the best Birthday Song I could, hope you enjoy!

Without further adew, this song was made just for you, my big sister!

Is this real life?

Well, it's the end of an era. The era being that of the Leach, Tucker, Arnold Era. The day has come where Ben and Mary depart South Korea for their 5 month adventure together.

I have just said goodbye to them for the last time...for now...and I'm reaaal sad.

In the past year we have been on many adventures, and I mean real adventures! Hitchhiking on the side of a gorge in Taiwan, when it's near dark, and we have no idea how we'll even get back to the city because we didn't check train times kind of adventure, and many of the mountain/ocean/waterfall/forest/beach adventure variety.

We have shared so many laughing fits, watching you tube videos or just being hyped up on sugar or soju or just plain old life and existing.



We have shared tears...or perhaps more accurately I have shared my tears while they hugged me and cheered me up...but sharing tears sounds much more balanced :o)



We have shared favourite books and movies, knowledge and learning, and discussions about anything and everything that comes to our crazy and kooky brains.



We have shared many delicious meals, from sunday western breakfasts on special occasions to every Korean dish we could get our hands on.



I won't speak for them, but I have certainly been inspired and motivated by their presence in my life, and I can only hope that I have provided some sort of inspiration to their lives in return.



When I came to Korea I definitely did not expect to make strong connections with anyone, as this experience is temporary. Connections such as those I feel I have forged with Ben and Mary do not come along often, and I feel truly blessed to have made such relationships. They are not just my friends, they are my family. Relationships like these don't come along everyday, and I certainly cherish them.

Mary and Ben,

I don't think you two will ever truly know the magnitude of how much you mean to me and have meant to me over this last year. You are two very remarkable people who have contributed so much to my life. I will miss you beyond words.

Please travel safely and keep me in your heart and mind, cause thats right where you'll be with me!

Enjoy, be safe, live, love, and laugh,

Love you sooo muchy

Meagan