I woke up this morning and was struck with a feeling in my stomach that may have been mistaken for a hangover if I had been drinking the night before. This feeling has become very familiar to me as of late, and I have come to know it as none other than anxiety himself.
This moring, unlike most others, I couldn't seem to fight it and without knowing what else to do I called my dad crying my eyes out. I have been very sick this week, sicker than I have ever been! I definately over did it last weekend, running the half marathon with the beginnings of a cold and then climbing the tallest mountain in South Korea the following day...I had cold sweats, black outs, vomitting, migraines, and weakness for a good 4 days...and I had to work! As a result I became very tired and drained, which ultimately lead to homesickness.
Everyone here has talked about the 3 month hump, where things have become more familiar and finally your brain allows you to think of home, so apparently that is what I'm experiencing. It's so strong and cuts me so deeply, I know it will pass but would love for it to pass sooner rather than later, and to take with it its ancestor, grief, because he is simply a pain in my ass. The two combined are currently settling down for a nice hearty meal on my soul...which leads me to where I am currently headed.
I am on a train to Gyeongju, an ancient city on the east coast of South Korea. Gyeongju is home to age-old Korean traditions, moreso than anywhere else in Korea, displaying over two thousand years of history. It is also the site of one of the 20 national parks of Korea, but this specific trip for me is not going to include the national park aspect. I am heading for a Golgulsa, (sa-meaning temple therefore in English it is Golgul Temple) where I will be meeting three girlfriends from Suwon to partake in a temple stay. From what I have read, we will relax, reflect and revitalize. Pretty vague I know, but more specifically I will be attending Buddhist ceremonial chanting services, Seon (Zen) meditation, yoga and Sunmudo (a Zen Martial Art), a daily tea ceremony, 108 bows, and Paragongyang, a Buddhist meal with traditional bowls on Sunday. I am extremely excited for this experience. I feel like it is exactly what I need, and have needed for a long time now. The scenery on the train is breath taking and unmistakably gorgeous. I think it is very true that the journey is more important than the destination, and this journey, taken alone, is proving to be beautiful and relaxing.
* thats the end of what was written on my journey, the rest was written after the weekend had ended.*
After arriving in Gyeongju, I had to then take a bus about 20km outside of the city centre. I got onto bus number 100, and to check that my memory was accurate said "Golgulsa bus please?" to the bus driver in the best Korean I could muster, "Beoseu Golgulsa juseyo?", to which he replied "Neh" (yes). Hoping that he actually understood what I was getting at, I sat down as close to the driver as I could and settled down for the ride. The view was beautiful and signs of civilization grew more sparse with every kilometre until I felt as though I was deep in the countryside and there were few people left on the bus. Finally, we arrived at a stop that looked as though it matched the visual I had from the directions "you will see two small restaurants on the left side, across from the bus stop. Walk down the road on your left for 10 minutes. You'll see the temple’s main gates on your left, with a road going up the hill. The office is about another 15 minute walk from the main gates. Start walking, and take the left fork in the road." I asked the bus driver again, "Golgulsa?", to which he again replied "neh". So I got off the bus hoping he was right, and off I went down the road that was supposed to lead me to the temple. The sun was slowly setting behind the mountains and made for a stunning setting for the last 30 minutes of my journey.
I arrived at the gates after a leisurely walk, and continuing past the gates I climbed a mountain for what felt like 30 minutes, but was more realistically only half that time.
Finally I reached the temple office, and conveniently ran into the girls. I signed in and received my "temple pants", which are extremely sexy. The girls had been there for a few hours already, but hadn't changed into their pants yet, so we all went to our room and monkified ourselves.
We were to begin the Sunmudo training at 7pm at the training centre on the temple grounds. So we all got ourselves ready for intense Zen Martial Arts training and head down to the training centre. We were the first to arrive, and there was a monk practicing Sunmudo outside the centre. He was flexible, strong, graceful, athletic and just all around ridiculous, so it made me extremely excited for what I was about to learn.
We went into the building and waited for everyone else to arrive and for the lesson to begin. Once the trainer came in he explained that women go on the left side and men on the right. We all arranged ourselves and then a more official looking monk walked in. He walked to the front of the room and soon after a few more monks followed. This is where we were introduced to our first chanting service, followed by the 108 bows. After the chanting and bowing we did a solid 90 minutes of Sunmudo training. It was amazing, difficult, reminiscent of my yoga classes at home, and somewhat humourous. The only reason there was humour involved was because the monk/trainer was incredibly good looking and it caused joking to ensue between us girls. Girls will be girls!
When the training was finished it was already dark outside. We were followed back to our room by one of the two "temple dogs", who even had the buddhist prayer beads around their necks. They were sweet, affectionate, and very calm; a lovely additional to the community of monks. We went straight back to our room to get ready for bed. Lights had to be out by 10pm, as we were to wake up at 4:00am, and be chanting at 4:30am sharp. Chanting waits for no one!
We woke to the sound of a monk walking around with a wooden block (moktak), which greets the new day. We then had 30 minutes to wash, brush our teeth, change, and get to the temple, where we were to read Buddhist scriptures with the sanga (buddhist family). The monks chanting the scriptures was the single most beautiful piece of art I have ever heard. Not being able to understand the chants was certainly not an issue. I closed my eyes and felt a million miles away from all of the pain that filled my body and soul. During the chanting we also completed 108 bows, which were both strenuous and liberating, as they are meant to provide time to reflect on our lives, acknowledge mistakes, and refresh our resolve to live truly. The bows were a much needed part of the experience for me.
After completing the chanting and bowing service, we were lead to the meditation deck above the temple, in the open air, where we practised sitting meditation. The view from the meditation deck was achingly gorgeous. I couldn't have wished for a better setting to meditate. The mountains rising and falling as a symbol of the roller coaster my life has been as of late. It was perfect beyond words and felt like a personal
utopia.
After the sitting meditation, and still before breakfast, we left the meditation deck and began walking meditation, walking up a steep hill, Five Chakra hill, with a statue at its centre. We walked in slow circles around the statue reflecting on our morning thus far, and preparing ourves for the day ahead. The chanting, bowing, and the sitting and walking mediation finished around 6am, and the "Paru-gongyang" (buddhist meal-breakfast) was at 6:30am. This meal was very structured, so much so that we had a lesson on how to be served, eat, and clean for this meal. We had 4 bowls, and had to put the soup in a specific bowl, the rice in a specific bowl, and then whatever veg we wanted in a specific bowl. The fourth bowl was for washing water. We had to eat absolutely every piece of food, and then use a piece of Kimchi (cabbage) and water to wash our bowls and then drink the water that we washed with. It was a surreal experience eating in a traditonal buddhist manner.
Following the breafast, there was an hour or so before heading out on a field trip to other buddhist sites in the area. The girls went back to the room to nap, as did most people, but because I had arrived late on the first day I wanted to explore the temple grounds a bit.
I climbed the stairs heading to the cave temples/praying spots. The temple grounds were completely surrounded by lush vegetation, and the air was so perfectly crisp and refreshing.
Along the short climb to the top, I stopped to look at the temple and meditation deck from a different vantage point.
I ducked inside the cave temple, did a few bows and prayers here before continuing on to the top.
From the top, I looked back on the temple and meditation deck and now there were two people practicing Sunmudo. It was our sexy instructor from the night before, and one of the local students form our class.
The carving of Buddha into the side of a rock face was beautiful, but had been covered by a hideous structure to protect it from the elements. It's a shame to be protected by such a monstrous piece of architecture, but despite that it was still very beautiful. I slowly made my way back to the temple accommodation, along the way watching some sunmudo, running into the head Monk and his monkey...no I'm not being dirty he actually has a pet monkey...and making a visit to the temple dog for a nice visit.
We went on our templestay fieldtrip, where we did yoga in the park, climbed a beautiful tree, saw the remains of a burned temple, and went to the seaside to see the site of King Munmu-Wang's tomb in the ocean.
The ocean was beautiful and we had time to paddle our feet in it and search for beautiful rocks and shells.
We went to another temple close to the Ocean that provided us with even more exercise, beautiful scenery, and serene surroundings.
This weekend surpassed any ideas of what I had of a templestay. It was enlightening, relaxing, and fun. This weekend has been the single most profound experience of my life thus far. Meditating among monks, a majestic natural setting, and great friends made for an unforgettable collection of moments that will maintain a place in my heart, mind, and soul for eternity. I know that this was the beginning of many more amazing experiences in Korea without carrying the pain of loss with me. Good riddance!
