I am both saddened and excited by the end of 2009. Saddened because despite the challenges of 2009, I would venture to say that it was the best year of my life thus far. Excited because although I would so boldly state that is was the best year of my life thus far, it was also the most challenging, sad at times, and full of obstacles to overcome. Putting aside all of the negative reasons for being excited to see a new year, I am also pleased that 2010 has arrived as I am on a great path of discovery that is sure lead me to many amazing experiences and adventures. Having a fresh start, a new beginning, with a clearer, more positive, and inspired mind is an extremely warm and glorious feeling.
2009 started with uncertainty, doubt, anxiety, and questions. Those questions challenged me to create a new path for myself. I made the brave choice to quit my amazing and secure job, leave my supportive friends and family, pack up, and move to a country I had never even visited and didn’t speak the language to live and work for a year. This choice has proven to be the best choice I have ever made, and I am extremely proud of myself for it...and modest too!
Since coming to Korea I have had ups, and downs, thankfully mostly ups. I have gained and lost relationships, creativity has sparked and waned (and sparked again), interests have been lost and new ones developed, and opportunities have been both missed and grabbed onto with two hands.
I have been fortunate enough to meet amazing individuals whom have been sources of awe, admiration, change, and hilarity. These individuals have greatly contributed to my growth, and if I’m lucky enough, will continue to do so for years to come. I have seen, hiked, and climbed the most stunning mountain landscapes I have ever seen. I have swam beautiful oceans, and mountain waterfalls. I have ran my first half marathon on the coastline of a gorgeous Korean island. I had my life touched by the most adorable, sweet, and cuddly young minds in South Korea. I have re-discovered a love for reading, and writing, something that was lost somewhere between high school and university.
I have experienced some disappointment in 2009, most notably as of late, in the way of hopes dashed, desires squashed, and pleasures dispelled. But alas, due to my courage and strength I have gotten through it and come out the other side a more wise person, a stronger person, and very possibly a more humoured individual. When life slaps you in the face, return the slap with a laugh!
I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, both good and bad. I have grown and am still growing, I have found strength where I didn’t think I had it, and I have experienced both support and lack of support from people that I never imagined I would. All of these events have molded, motivated, and cultivated hopes and desires for myself that are both frightening and stimulating. I am constantly challenging my thoughts, and actions, searching for more strength, growth, and creativity.Before entering a new year I will forgive myself for letting my guard down and falling for someone when I should have known better. Although it may have lead to hurt, I don’t regret it for the lessons learned, and experiences had. I will forgive myself for shedding tears for people, things, and situations that in hindsight were not important enough to deserve my tears. I will forgive myself for any time wasted, when it could have been used more productively. Lastly I will forgive myself for not being the very best daughter, sister, granddaughter, and friend that I can be. I am certainly a work in progress, and acknowledgment of things I wish to change is definitely a good step in the right direction.
People will continue to pass through my life for the entirety of my existence. Chapters will close and new ones will open. Mistakes will be made and lessons will be learned. Plans will be made and destroyed. Adventures will be had. Paths will alter. Happiness will ensue. If 2010 can promise anything it is a thrilling journey and further evolution, progression, and development of self, and for that I can’t wait!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~Anais Nin
Happy New Year, love.
ReplyDeleteYou've come a long, long way and you should be so proud of yourself.
"HOPE resides in the future, while PERSPECTIVE and WISDOM are almost found by looking to the past" (Schools into Schools, p. 21).
May 2010 be filled with hope.
:)
Meaggy,
ReplyDeleteI am happy for you, that you've found a new desire to write. I think expression is one of the most healing things, and we all need a little bit of that from time to time.
Congrats on the half - that's amazing! You are motivating me as I type.
Happy 2010! Live in the moment. No one is even close to being perfect, and there is so much beauty in imperfection. No need to forgive yourself for being imperfect...save that for real transgressions, and forgive yourself then. Life is beautiful, and so are you!!
xo
Alana
PS..Justing Nozuka is on my iTunes...it's a sign, we're meant to be friends and send love across oceans!